Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:15 AM ET
How is Guy Pearce's character not called Snake Plissken in his upcoming film "Lock-Out"?
You remember Snake -- played by Kurt Russell in 1981's awesome "Escape from New York" (and 1996's not-so-great sequel, "Escape from L.A."). He was one great bad guy -- a war hero turned criminal with a dashing eyepatch, who was always being sent into danger by the government.
In the first film, all of Manhattan has been turned into a prison for the worst psychos around. When the president's plane crashes there, Snake gets forced to rescue him. In the second film, he goes after the president's daughter in Los Angeles, which became an island police state after an earthquake.
In "Lock-Out," unrelated to the "Escape" movies except by plot, Guy Pearce's wrongly convicted character, Snow, has to rescue the president's daughter from an orbiting space prison. AN ORBITING SPACE PRISON. Where they send only the deadliest criminals from the entire planet, and house them in what appear to be satellite toilets.
Because that's exactly where the president's daughter would go, to a space prison. Absolutely no chance of danger there.
And of course the prison is taken over easily by its creepy inmates, including a guy whose mouth has been partly cut away to show even more of his teeth.
It's the kind of film that a 12-year-old boy who's been raised on bad sci-fi would sketch out in his Trapper Keeper, and it is not wrong to both think it sounds horrible and also to start wondering which of your friends you can coax into coming to a midnight showing.
"Lock-Out" opens April 20. Sadly, it will probably not be renamed "Escape from Space Prison."
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