Keith Olbermann rounds up tabloid and entertainment news every night on “Keeping Tabs.” On Thursday, Oct. 19 he had this to say:
O.J. an author?
O.J. Simpson is in the news again. Well, not the news technically, he’s in the “National Enquirer,” which lands him right square in our nightly celebrity gossip roundup, “Keeping Tabs.”
The “Enquirer” says has signed up to write a book called “If I Did it,” a hypothetical account of the murders of his ex-wife Nicole and her friend, Ron Goldman. If, you know, the murders happened to have been committed by, say, O.J. Simpson. Reportedly he would make a non-hypothetical $3.5 million for the book.
Among the highlights, gruesome, detailed, and say the “Enquirer” “realistic” description of the murders themselves. Simpson’s book, just another in a long literary tradition of books by people wrongly accused of killing someone they loved who’s speculating, in print, at length and graphic detail about how they would have brutally stabbed the person they loved, hypothetically.
Smith funeral
With at least a modicum of class more than that, Anna Nicole Smith, today, held a funeral for her 20-year-old son, Daniel. The private service was held in the Bahamas where Daniel Smith died early last month, just three days after his mother gave birth to a daughter. The death has unofficially been blamed on a combination of methadone and antidepressants. Bahamian police, however, have yet to weigh in with their report on the cause of death.
And regarding Smith’s new daughter, “Extra” tonight reports that Smith will be deposed next week by lawyers for a man who claims the daughter is actually his.
Remember, it is better in the Bahamas.
Land of paradise
And an official from Kazakhstan, the deputy foreign minister there has extended an open invitation to Borat, the Kazakh character played by Sacha Baron Cohen, to visit anytime that's good for him.
Borat’s somewhat unflattering portrayal of a Kazakh journalist, the actual target of which obviously is the American culture he encounters, has reportedly upset Kazakh officials who are not use to being upset by people they can’t make go away. Then again, after gaining international publicity for misspelling the work “bank” in its new bank notes, rather than complain about Borat, Kazakhstan is apparently now trying to play along.
“I’d like to invite Cohen here,” the deputy prime minister says, “he can discover lots of things. Women drive cars, wine made of grapes, and Jews are free to go to synagogues.”
Kazakhstan, with women in cars and Jews in synagogues, like a paradise on earth.
If like those Kazakh bankers who misspelled bank, you’ve ever wanted to just disappear, you may get your chance.