Explainer: Top 5 most preposterous getups in games
Full body armor and badass footwear; clearly, Hildegard von Krone (on the left) is the kind of woman who knows how to dress for success. But while this character in the "Soulcalibur" fighting franchise has sense enough to put together just the right ensemble for an evening of fending off swinging swords and sharp sticks, the same can't be said for many of gaming's leading ladies.
Alas, it seems some game developers have a penchant for creating women warriors and female adventurers who dress in the most preposterous of outfits. Far too often, women game characters find themselves clad in getups that land somewhere between totally useless and downright ludicrous (see Ivy, also from "Soulcalibur," on the right).
Here's a look at our list of the Top 5 most preposterous video game outfits. Check it out then tell us some of the game getups that get under your skin.
— Winda Benedetti
Rachel from 'Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2'
From the looks of it, we're not sure if Rachel is headed to an S&M club or headed into battle against hordes of demons. No, wait, this just in: She's got a full schedule of demon killin' ahead of her. With that in mind, we can't help but point out that this revealing number doesn't exactly offer much in the way of, you know, protection. After all, look at those gaping holes in her armor! All her ... ahem ... vulnerable parts are exposed. And look at those high heels! How will they ever hold up under the weight of her enormous ... weapons?
La Mariposa from 'Dead or Alive 4'
When it comes to the women from the 'Dead or Alive' franchise, it's difficult to decide which one of their outfits makes the least sense. Is it Christie's tight jumpsuit inexplicably unzipped down to her navel? Is it Lei Fang's preference for high heels as proper fighting footwear (dear God girl, how do you not twist an ankle)? Is it Tina Armstrong's entire cleavage-displaying wardrobe? These women are supposed to be hardcore combatants, not hardcore porn stars, right? Never mind, forget I asked.
This time around, we decided that it was La Mariposa's luchadora outfit from "Dead or Alive 4" that won the award for Absurd Outfit Obviously Dreamed Up By A Dude ... because nothing says 'I'm a competent combatant and a smart scientist like a butterfly mask, tassels and matching G-string.'
Cammy from 'Street Fighter'
Cammy, Cammy, Cammy. Props for wearing sensible shoes into battle, but what is it with your inexplicable love for thigh-revealing bodysuits? Put your entire ensemble together — the boots, the bared thighs and butt cheeks, the colorful leotard and the jaunty berets you like to top it all off with — and you've got one truly baffling package.
But Cammy, we have one simple piece of advice: Put on some pants.
Mai Shiranui from 'Fatal Fury' and 'King of Fighters'
Oh Mai! When you arrived on the scene in the early '90s, you set womankind back decades with your bouncing bosoms and an outfit that — let's be realistic for one crazy moment — could never ever hold such ample assets in place. What you really need is a well-fitted sports bra because, frankly, one flying kick in this outfit and your lovely ladies will surely fly to freedom.
Yes, we realize that video games are not meant to be "realistic" exactly, but this getup lends a whole new meaning to the term suspension of, uhm, disbelief.
Ivy from 'Soulcalibur 4'
Where to begin with this pinnacle of the most preposterous of outfits? Yes, we know that Ivy is one seriously fatal femme fatale. But there is nothing about this favorite from her wardrobe that would work in a real battle — not the barely-there breast restraints, not the painfully pointy high-heeled boots, and especially not the booty-flossing undergarment that isn't actually hidden under any garments.
This screenshot doesn't quite do it justice, but trust us — our girl Ivy appears to be suffering the king of all wedgies when she goes into battle. And that just doesn't seem fair.
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