Explainer: 10 home gadgets that take tech too far

  • Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    With all of the advancements in technology, it's tempting for designers to go back to the drawing board and "upgrade" some tried-and-true home products. The result is a lot of unnecessary or unusual functionality. As you will see with the following gadgets, sometimes it's best to keep things simple. - By Sean Fallon

  • Tocky alarm clock

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    The incessant buzzing of a traditional alarm clock is bad enough, but there's no excuse for owning Tocky — an alarm clock that buzzes and rolls away from you. The only way to shut Tocky up is to capture it in a fuzzy, sleepy haze — and there is a good chance that you will sustain some sort of massive shin trauma in the process. Of course, the pain is probably a good thing because simply owning Tocky is a clear sign that you are a masochist. $69 - Nanda Home via Nerd Approved

  • Wicked Lasers Torch

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    Every home needs a flashlight for emergencies, but in the case of the Wicked Lasers Torch, the flashlight was probably the cause of the emergency. That's because the Torch shines at a ridiculous 4100 lumens, making it hot enough to scramble eggs, light matches and set paper on fire. Plus, the battery only lasts 5 minutes — not very practical, but more than enough time to do serious damage. The power may be out, but thanks to you the whole neighborhood can see just fine by the light of the blazing inferno that used to be your home. $199.95 - Wicked Lasers

  • Fiber-optic wallpaper

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    Wallpaper isn't really a hot item for decorating these days, so if you ever plan on selling your home, I suggest steering clear of 'Nature Ray Charles' wallpaper featuring patterns of embedded fiber-optic lights. Let's just say that the Vegas-after-dark look might clash with the tastes of a prospective buyer. That is, unless the prospective buyer in question happens to be wearing a sequined jumpsuit. $242 per roll - Camilla Diedrich Walls

  • iCarta iPod toilet paper holder

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    Toilet paper holders do one job and they do it well, so why mess with perfection by adding an iPod dock and speaker? Unfortunately, that's exactly what you get with the iCarta. Seems like overkill if you ask me, but how long will it be before there's an app that replaces toilet paper? Once there's an app for that, you'll know Apple has really crossed the Rubicon. $65.99 - Amazon

  • Burglar Blaster

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    Think about how many times you have accidentally set off your home alarm system. Now imagine if tripping your alarm resulted in a fiery blast of pepper spray. With the Burglar Blaster, you've only got 40 seconds to shut off the infrared alarm or anyone within a 2000-foot radius will be incapacitated with burning eyes and nausea. For the masochist who isn't satisfied waking up with Tocky, this would be the ultimate way to start your morning. $600 - Burglar Blaster

    More from Nerd Approved: 11 ways to furnish a home like a mega nerd

  • Moonlight cushion

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    If you thought that the pillow couldn't be gadgetized, think again. The Moonlight Cushion is an illuminated pillow with an internal LED light source that transitions between colors. So those naps on the couch after a heavy, greasy meal might result in crazy tripped out nightmares involving Freddy Krueger hunting you down in the Beatles' Yellow Submarine. $39.98 - Gadgets and Gear via Nerd Approved

  • Nomos touchscreen faucet

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    The Nomos faucet features a touchscreen that can help the user adjust water flow, temperature and pressure. It even alerts the user to a malfunction. Those are all great features, but a faucet seems like an awkward pairing for touchscreen technology. I mean, society is paranoid enough about germs and greasy touchscreens already, so you would think that a more hands-free approach is what's called for when you've been handling eggs, raw meat or working out in the yard on something, especially when your wife tells you not to wash your filthy hands in the kitchen, but you do anyway. Price not available - Firma Carlo Frattini

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  • Toto Intelligence Toilet II

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    Japanese toilet manufacturer Toto is world-renowned for developing toilets with over-the-top functionality. Their latest product in this category, the Intelligence Toilet II, makes going to the bathroom like getting a physical. It's can check your blood pressure, BMI and body weight, analyze urine for sugar levels and even help women keep track of their menstruation cycles by measuring urine temperature and hormone levels. When analysis is done, the data is sent wirelessly to a PC where it is stored and graphed for reference. That's right, when you finally have that child you've been longing for, you'll have the toilet to thank — which could make for an even more awkward parenting moment when your kids ask, "Where did I come from?" $3000-$6000 - Toto

  • ChiliBed

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    As a basic concept, the ChiliBed temperature-controlled mattress is actually a great idea. You'll always be toasty in the winter and in the summer you'll have no trouble finding the cool side of the pillow. Plus, two occupants can control their side of the bed independently. The problem lies with the extreme temperature range of the water-based heating elements. The bed can be cooled to 46 degrees Fahrenheit and heated to 118 degrees Fahrenheit. So my wife (who's perpetually cold) can be cremated in her sleep while I (perpetually hot) am cryogenically frozen so that my body can be reanimated during a time with even more advanced bed technology. $1499 to $3499 - Chili Technology via Nerd Approved

  • Fridge Upgrade magnet

    Courtesy of Nerd Approved

    This list contains plenty of real, over-the-top household technology, but the Fridge Upgrade magnet is something that I can only wish was real. The magnet is just for show as it doesn't really allow your fridge to dispense beer, cappuccino, frozen yogurt, french fries, gravy, nacho cheese and chicken wings — but it would be awesome if it could. Mmmm ... imagine making a smoothie with all those ingredients! That would make this toaster/defibrillator concept a lot more practical. $7.95 - Archie McPhee via That's Nerdalicious!

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