Countdown’s Top Five

  1. Kids are already using Janet Jackson’s topless Super bowl halftime as an excuse.
  2. Speaking of unexpected sexual displays on sports broadcasts…
  3. The Hargon family has been missing for a week.
  4. Colorado University finds an interim football coach, but does it matter?
  5. A Moroccan flight gets turned around after a man claims he was kidnapped by Al Qaeda.
  6. Speaking of flights with terror scares, British Airways flight 233 from London to New York, delayed six time, canceled five time since New Years, amid unspecified al-Qaeda fears, is now named British Air flight 293.
  7. It may not ease flier anxiety to learn that a pilot lost the gun that was supposed to help him protect us against terrorists.  
  8. Will he or won’t he?  The answer on Meet the Press, Sunday morning
  9. In other ballot news, Al Sharpton apparently forgot to make sure he was on the Louisiana ballot. 
  10. And John Edwards opted against running in Howard Dean's home state on the assumption that the former governor would win there in spades.
  11. Other election issues: Ahmad Chalabi now tells London's Daily Telegraph, "As far as we`re concerned, we’ve been entirely successful.  That tyrant Saddam is gone and the Americans are in Baghdad.  What was said before is not important."
  12. The 9/11 commission is waiting for Dennis Hastert to grant the extension that President Bush already agreed to.

Today’s Top Three Newsmakers

  1. Andre Gainey of Clifton Park, New York, arrested by cops after they realized he was DWWP, Driving While Watching Porn .
  2. An unnamed man in Germany had to be rescued by police after some sort of sex game ended poorly.
  3. A police officer’s wife is accused of trying to stickup a bank in Pembroke Pines, Florida, and threatening to blow the place up.  

Let's Play Oddball!

  1. They found a Piranha in the River Thames near London.
  2. Romulus Caraway managed to seed his courtroom language with a popular Anglo-
    Saxon expletive 10 times.  The judge gave him 10 days of contempt of court for each of the F-bombs.
  3. Burials in Space Celestis Incorperated says it can hall your ashes into geosynchronous orbit for 12,000 bucks.
  4. St. Louis plastic surgeon, Dr. Robert F. Centano says there has been a surge in the number of gluteal implants performed in this country annually, because of the actress and singer, Jennifer Lopez.

Keeping Tabs

  1. Diana Ross wants to make this clear.  Perfectly, perfectly clear.  “She is not dating David Gest.  She is not engaged to David Gest."
  2. Rapper 50 cent's is thinking of running for town council in Farmington Connecticut.
  3. "Now with Bill Moyers" will soon be "Now  - with someone else."
  4. We finally have an explanation why Courtney Love failed to show up to court last week.
  5. Renee Zelwegger says she should get an Oscar award this year -- because she deserves it.


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