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An ode to Dr. Seuss

Today would have been Theodor Guyzel's 100th birthday and as children around America celebrate with special events, 'The Abrams Report' pays tribute in it's own special way.

What shall we call this special day?
What shall we do to make it stay?
If we can’t have another day off from school
And we want a celebration that just seems cool.
Some people I know might have some suggestions,
But they may provide fewer answers than questions.
Maybe Martha Stewart would offer to make a big cake,
But might later change her story saying “it was just a mistake.”
Scott Peterson might go golfing or was it fishing for the day?
In that my wife is pregnant… Christmas eve sort of way.
Kobe Bryant could have a party in his hotel room
A few days later his wife might be sporting another heirloom
NBA Star Jayson Williams might shoot bullets in the air, but
Since aim is not his strongest suit, I wouldn’t want to be there.
And what would Michael Jackson do to celebrate this day?
One for kids everywhere to celebrate and play?
He could have cats in hats and even Peter pans.
A boy’s day at the ranch… but no Jesus juice in cans.
Rolling hills, animals roaming… serenity and calm.
That is until the kids are frisked by the Nation of Islam.
I know this poem is not exactly one Dr. Seuss would have never penned,
But Dan I am with the trials that never end.