By Kari Huus Reporter
updated 11/16/2011 2:01:09 PM ET 2011-11-16T19:01:09

As the Penn State sex abuse scandal unfolds — ghastly detail by detail — on front pages, the airwaves and Twitter accounts, the news can be especially devastating for one group in particular: former victims of sexual abuse.

“Another night of triggers and flashbacks,” writes a forum member on, a website devoted to healing male victims of sexual abuse. “… I felt him all over me and my arms are scratched as I try to get the feeling of his hands off me. … I think all the (Penn State) news set the triggers off, and now I am like a zombie, trying to recover and move forward today.”

“I never met Jerry Sandusky, but feel I know him all too well,” writes another member of the forum, referring to the university’s former defensive coordinator who stands accused of sexually molesting at least eight young boys. “I dealt with my own ‘Jerry’ when I was 12 or 13. … Now that he is sated and I am long forgotten, I'm still picking up the pieces.”

“This whole thing is devastating me. These boys are lost in the details ... just as most of us here were,” the member added.

Video: Alleged victim outraged by Sandusky denial (on this page)

Psychologists say that any sex abuse victim — man or woman — may find that news of the Penn State case sparks painful memories. But the way this case is unfolding strikes an especially deep chord with men.

“It can be very triggering of either their own memories — they may get flashbacks — or they may get angry again,” said Richard Gartner, a psychologist and psychoanalyst in New York, and spokesman for Some men may have to limit their news consumption, and maybe avoid watching football to avoid a panic attack or bout of depression, he said.

“It is re-traumatizing for them — more so to the extent that they believe that this is being handled wrong … and ignoring the needs of the victims.”

Different experience for boys
Sexual abuse has a different impact on boys than on girls, and they deal with it differently because of socialization, experts say.

“Men aren’t supposed to be victims. Men are supposed to be strong,” said Jim Hopper, clinical instructor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. “A man says I’m not a real man, because I let someone do this to me. I should have been tougher. Even after years of therapy they say this.”

Girls who are abused by men are psychologically damaged, to be sure, experts say, but boys abused by men often come to question their sexual identity and orientation.

“If they were sexually abused by a man, there’s this whole stigma — does that mean I’m gay, or did he do it to me because I look gay?” says Hopper.

Another difference: Boys who are forced into sexual acts may have an erection — a physiological response which makes them all the more confused and ashamed of the encounter, Gartner says.

The women’s movement helped bring sexual assault of females into the public eye — and led to tougher penalties against attackers, more policy aimed at prevention and better access to care for victims. The focus on sexual abuse of boys came nearly 20 years later, when hundreds of childhood victims went public with stories of abuse by Catholic priests, according to Gartner.

  1. Only on
    1. CFT: Penn State's McQueary 'in protective custody'
    2. CFT: Penn State places McQueary on leave
    3. When abusers are 'like us,' how can they be stopped?
    4. Alleged victim's mother: Son lived in fear of Sandusky
    5. CFT: Whistleblower law keeping McQueary on job?
    6. CFT: Sandusky could faces charges in Texas, too
    7. CFT: Penn St. sidelines McQueary due to threats
    8. DA who didn't charge Sandusky missing since '05

Shame, silence, secrecy
Still, the shame and stigma makes it less common for boys to report abuse and seek help than girls, studies show.

“Men tend to come into treatment much later in life,” said Gartner. “Usually they are in their 30s, 40s or 50s — occasionally in their 70s — never having spoken about this.”

Their reluctance to talk about abuse is partly to blame for the perception that sexual abuse of boys is rare, Gartner said.

Research shows that about one in six boys are sexually abused before they are 16 years old, according to Hopper, a founding board member of the nonprofit organization 1in6, which aims to help men deal with abuse they experienced as children, and provides comprehensive resources on

The number for girls is one in four. The statistics do not include verbal harassment or other forms of non-physical sexual abuse, such as forcing a child to watch a sexual act.

Video: Will Sandusky’s NBC interview hurt his case? (on this page)

Reports of sexual abuse by boys are still more likely to be dismissed, researchers say, which can intensify the victim’s pain and difficulty later in life.

"Boys who are sexually abused are mostly disbelieved, or it is minimized," said Gartner. "They're told, 'just get over it'."

"They learn that nobody’s safe," said Hopper. "That’s really devastating. … that people who were supposed to protect me are not going to help me, they are blaming me!"

That perception by a child can lead to a wide array of problems as they grow older, including depression, anxiety, emotional numbing, substance abuse, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

PTSD in high gear
Robert Brown, 51, who is now open about his story, was repeatedly sexually assaulted over the course of seven years when he was a child. He says the perpetrators were older boys who were favored because they were top athletes in his small New Hampshire town, while his plight was ignored by adults.

Brown did not acknowledge the problem to anyone until four years ago, when he was blindsided by a severe bout of post-traumatic stress.

Now he is a child protection activist, and shares his story with other members on the forum, many of whom keep their abuse secret. He also gives talks on the issue.

“In my lifetime and in my time with all other survivors that I know, the Penn State case is the most earth-shattering one for us to face,” Brown said in an interview.

“Probably because of the authority abused and the trust abused by the sports program and by Jerry Sandusky. It gets worse when we see that it’s underprivileged kids being so badly abused as if they are throwaway people," he added.

“We identify very, very strongly with these boys. And we identify with the poor handling of this. To think there are 15-year-old cases that have never been dealt with," Brown said. “It kicks off the (post-traumatic stress) into high gear — nightmares, flashbacks, extreme depression. It’s been some of the worst few days of my life emotionally.”

Gartner said that while the Penn State case has clearly caused pain and anguish for men struggling with the aftermath of abuse, it does demonstrate that perceptions have changed since the 1980s, when he started treating sexually abused men.

“Before the (Catholic) church scandal, even in professional meetings, people rolled their eyes, feeling that (sexual abuse of boys) happened rarely,” said Gartner. “Now, nobody seems to be saying it doesn’t happen. It does give people courage to come forward and disclose and get help, and that’s positive.”

Click here to follow Kari Huus on Facebook.

© 2013 Reprints

Video: Alleged victim outraged by Sandusky denial

  1. Transcript of: Alleged victim outraged by Sandusky denial

    MATT LAUER, co-host: But we begin with the latest fallout from the Penn State sex scandal. NBC 's Peter Alexander is in State College again this morning. Peter , good morning to you.

    PETER ALEXANDER reporting: Matt, good morning to you. Late last night, NBC News spoke to the attorney for one of Jerry Sandusky 's alleged victims who called Sandusky 's first public comments to Bob Costas right here on NBC insulting. He said they were 100 percent false, and worse yet, he said they were victimizing to his clients again. For many Americans, Jerry Sandusky 's first interview proclaiming his innocence to Bob Costas was troubling.

    Mr. JERRY SANDUSKY: I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workouts, I have hugged them and I have -- I have touched their leg without intent of sexual contact.

    BOB COSTAS reporting: What are you willing to concede that you've done that was wrong and you wish you had not done it?

    Mr. SANDUSKY: Well in retrospect, I, you know, I shouldn't have showered with those kids.

    ALEXANDER: But a lawyer for one of Sandusky 's alleged victims says his client is outraged that Sandusky did not accept responsibility for his actions.

    Mr. BEN ANDREOZZI (Attorney for Alleged Victim of Jerry Sandusky): It's fair to say that my client was revictimized as he watched Mr. Sandusky make his statement.

    ALEXANDER: Ben Andreozzi says he was especially troubled by what he says was Sandusky 's inability to respond to a simple question from Costas , "Are you sexually attracted to young boys ?"

    Mr. SANDUSKY: Am I sexually attracted to underage boys?

    COSTAS: Yes.

    Mr. SANDUSKY: Sexually attracted ? You know, I enjoy young people , I love to be around them. I -- but no, I'm not sexually attracted to young boys .

    ALEXANDER: Even former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has weighed in, speaking about Sandusky on Fox News .

    Former Governor SARAH PALIN: Hang him from the highest tree. I'll bring the rope.

    ALEXANDER: Mike McQueary , who told a grand jury he witnessed Sandusky sexually assaulting a boy as young as 10 in the shower in 2002 before alerting former head coach Joe Paterno , is under fire for not doing more. But in an email obtained by Associated Press , McQueary told a friend last week, "I did stop it, not physically, but made sure it was stopped when I left that locker room. I did have discussions with police and with the official at the university in charge of police. No one can imagine my thoughts or wants to be in my shoes for those 30 to 45 seconds, trust me." On Tuesday, McQueary described his emotions in this brief exchange with CBS News .

    Mr. MIKE McQUEARY: All over the place . Just kind of shaken.

    Mr. ARMEN KETEYIAN: Crazy?

    Mr. McQUEARY: Crazy, yeah.

    Mr. KETEYIAN: And you said what, like a...

    Mr. McQUEARY: Snow globe .

    Mr. KETEYIAN: a snow globe .

    Mr. McQUEARY: Yes, sir.

    ALEXANDER: According to the grand jury report, prosecutors were not able to find the victim McQueary says he saw, but Sandusky 's attorney told Ann on TODAY he's spoken to the boy who denies the alleged assault.

    Mr. JOE AMENDOLA: He's saying it never happened.

    Mr. JOE PATERNO: I want to say hello to all these great students who I love.

    Ms. SUE PATERNO: To all the students.

    ALEXANDER: For days there's been no sign of Paterno , who was fired a week ago today. But this morning The New York Times reports that in July Paterno transferred ownership of his home to his wife, Sue , for $1. But Paterno 's attorney told The Times it was part of estate planning and had nothing to do with the scandal. The preliminary hearing for former Penn State Vice President Gary Schultz and former athletic director Tim Curley has now been delayed. Both men face perjury and failure to report what they know. It is now scheduled for December 6th . We received an email for the attorneys for the men who say this is a travesty, that they deserve a speedy trial so they can face their accusers and clear their good names. Matt:


Discussion comments


Most active discussions

  1. votes comments
  2. votes comments
  3. votes comments
  4. votes comments