Countdown’s Top Five

  1. The relatively offensive West Virginia T-shirt, courtesy Abercrombie & Fitch.
  2. What state has the highest percentage of toothlessness?
  3. A warning label for popular antidepressants.
  4. How do newer antidepressants work?
  5. Kids in trouble because, as usual, of negligent adults:
  6. A long-running feud between two teenage girls ended with the mother of one of them hiring a guy with a mullet nicknamed Bam-Bam allegedly to attack the other girl
  7. A child has brought crack cocaine to school, preschool.
  8. In Miami, it was a 5-year-old sprinkled marijuana over the lasagna of a fellow kindergartner.  
  9. A year ago in Crafton, Pennsylvania, outside Pittsburgh, mailman Clayton Smith was inexplicably shot and killed while on a break from his route.  There was no motive.  Now a neighborhood child has admitted he had found a gun and was shooting it out of window hoping to hit a tree.
  10. 35-year-old Lori Rock was driving her daughter`s friend Sydney Hughes home.  Ms. Rock, police say, was so drunk, she passed out behind a wheel on a highway.  Sydney managed to guide the car home with no more damage than a minor fender-bender.  Sydney is 12.
  11. She is the elder of the suddenly designated drivers. 
  12. 35-year-old Robert Crider of Lubbock, Texas, knew he was too drunk to drive home.  He gave keys to his son.  The boy was pulled over for erratic driving about halfway through their trip, their 350-mile trip.  That boy is 11.
  13. It is just coincidence that today in Washington, MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, called for increased penalties against adults who drive with intoxicated and with kids in the car.
  14. The monkey attack in Dallas. 
  15. Top four self-liberating primates:
  16. September of last year, a 300 pound gorilla, Little Joe, broke out of Boston's Franklin Park Zoo after unsuccessfully trying to get on a bus, he was brought down by four tranquilizers. 
  17. October 2000, Evelyn uses overgrown vine to escape her confines at the L.A.  Zoo, her fourth escape.  Zookeepers nabbed her in the men's restroom.
  18. The Little Rock Zoo in Arkansas had two fugitives on their hands, Tammy and her companion, Rocky, made a break for it in `97. 
  19. The unnamed female gorilla at the Pittsburgh Zoo and Aquarium answering the call of the wild in February 2001, cashing it all in, in exchange for an unwrapped Hershey's Kiss. 
  20. Testifying on terrorism
  21. And then there is Dr. Rice, or more accurately, then there isn't Dr. Rice.
  22. While Dr.  Rice is not testifying at the public hearings, she is talking to the media, including Lisa Myers.  
  23. The commission today issued several preliminary reports, the most poignant of them reached one simple conclusion:  That the U.S. government finally settled on a strategy to undermine al-Qaeda by attacking the Taliban in Afghanistan on Monday, September 10, 2001.  

Today’s Top Three Newsmakers

  1. The RIAA, the Recording Industry Association of America, the folks who keep suing over illegal computer downloads of their music.  Their Web site has been hacked again.
  2. Unidentified twin brothers who forced a JetBlue flight from New York to Florida to land in North Carolina after they got into a fistfight over the armrest between their seats. 
  3. Joey Buttafuoco.  No only has he been sentenced to a year in jail for insurance fraud.  He has also now been banned for life from the auto body business in California.

Let's Play 'Oddball'!

  1. Nearly three years ago, some loser poured five gallons of dishwasher liquid into the Fountain of Wind at Canal Park.  This set up amounted to white-out conditions in the middle of July.  Kathy J.  Kelly was walking along when the bubbles overtook her.  She could see nothing, she fell into the fountain, and sustained a shin injury so series it required skin grafts and she sued.  Today the city of Duluth was found 70 percent negligent by a jury, which awarded Miss Kelly $125,000. 
  2. A Chinese Taoist Herbalist has sealed himself 49 feet off the ground in a mountain resort in the province of Sichaun a small glass house.   Chen Jianmin claims he once went 81 days without food. 
  3. David Hempleman-Adams broke the world record for greatest altitude achieved in an open basket. 

Keeping Tabs

  1. And the queen of soul is in the hospital, Aretha Fanklin being treated in Detroit, has been since Saturday.  She is in stable condition.

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