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More ‘deliciously bad’ disaster plots

Check out the "dishonorable mentions" in the Cosmic Log contest for deliciously bad science-fiction movie plots.
/ Source: msnbc.com

Scores of Cosmic Log readers sent in suggestions for plots cast in the mold of somewhat shaky disaster movies such as "The Day After Tomorrow" and "10.5."

Six of the entries were selected as finalists in a "Deliciously Bad" contest, but some of the members of MSNBC.com's informal panel of judges gave high marks to other entries as well.

To read the six top entries and vote for your favorite, consult Cosmic Log. Here are seven other bonus selections:

"Contact 2"(Screenplay by Daniel Dudzik)
Due to an error in data conversion, when the plans for the device were transmitted, we never got the Product Promo page.   When we were first “Contacted,” it was because, after viewing our “video entertainment,” we were classified as an emerging market.  First step was to send us plans to their latest entertainment system.  The reason why Jodie was not able to repeat the virtual-reality simulation is because of the sophisticated copy guard on the alien technology.  Now that we have built the system, they want us to pony up for the subscription to the basic service.  And if we sign a contract for the next galactic light-year, we can pick two premium channels.

"Eater"(Screenplay by Chip Taylor)
Humongous earthquakes begin happening with frightening regularity.  Planes crash from the sky for no discernable reason.  The international space station explodes spectacularly.  Buildings seem to spontaneously collapse. The cause?  A black hole, only 10 nanometers wide, has started orbiting the earth.  Only thing is, each orbit it passes through the earth, causing earthquakes, and through anything else, causing the crashes, etc.  A handsome geek scientist and his gorgeous assistant discover the truth.  The only way to stop it is to create a giant “catcher’s mitt” made out of “carbon nanotubes” to be indestructible, and catch it.  Naturally, the scientist’s best friend (who is black) is killed in the process, the geek and blonde fall in love, and they capture the Eater and turn it into endless free electricity to power the world!

"Five-Day Forecast"
(Screenplay by Nathan and Debbie Veale)
TV meteorologist sees the end of the greenhouse effect and predicts the beginning of a new ice age. But when will it happen?  Monday?  Tuesday?  Should we change our plans for the weekend? Could Pierce Brosnan play the handsome but misunderstood local weather person? Ice, Ice Baby.

"Friday the 13th: The Sequel"
(Screenplay by David Dalia)
The nation was still reeling from the devastating effects of the unprecedented 10.5 quake which had caused the destruction of California. A huge cosmetics slick had formed off what remained of the West Coast, choking off any surviving nuts, foliage or vegetative life. The absence of Jay Leno disoriented millions; millions more mourned the disappearance of the Psychic Friends Network. Worst of all, an acute celebrity shortage had broken out; in New York, celebrity-starved mobs were seen chasing a bewildered Tippi Hedren down Seventh Avenue!

Then, on Wednesday, May 11th, an extremely strong series of precursor quakes began building in intensity. Astonished scientists discovered that the ominous new quake series had not one, but three separate epicenters. The precursor quakes were centered on the American cities of Cleveland, Orlando and Las Vegas. The quakes inexorably increased in intensity, until the awful evening of Friday the 13th. Horribly, on that terrible night, a full magnitude-13 earthquake struck, completely destroying Cleveland, Orlando and Las Vegas. The quake was so strong that souvenir snow globes were seen to be disturbed as far away as Vladivostok. The destruction was total!

After that, everyone lived happily ever after!

"Fried Green Killer Tomatoes"
(Screenplay by Darrin McNatt)
You can slice them, you can dice them, but can you stop the wanton destruction of the Fried Green Killer Tomatoes? Watch as a rural town is sauteed in the heat of the Southern summer. The tomatoes assault and pepper the residents with rinds and seeds until all hope is dashed. Can the stellar group of hungry, talkative women use fire to force the tomatoes back into the frying pan?

"The Night After Tomorrow,"
(Screenplay by Steve Jensen)
With the Arctic ice melted thanks to global warming, scientists have finally devised a way to cool things down again. The plan: Shift the orbit of the moon to cause a solar eclipse at the North Pole until it freezes again. All the nuclear warheads on the planet are aimed at the moon (nukes are the “duct tape” of Hollywood) and launched; all are programmed to impact on the moon at precise intervals and locations.  Alas, an eco-terrorist intent on the moon’s utter destruction has hacked into the computer system and changed the program!  Can Agent 007 find the terrorists and discover their plan? Can he stop the bombs from exploding in time?  Can he get the girl before the end of the world? No?!?  Then, as the moon is blasted into bits, which immediately begin to rain down onto the planet… Fade to black… show trailer for “The Night After Tomorrow II”

"Swirly: The Day the Earth Spun Backwards"
(Screenplay by Bruce Searl)
A wager between two young science nerds trying to win the favor of a beautiful grad student turns into the beginning of the end when, to prove that water doesn’t always swirl clockwise when going down a drain, Derrick uses his hand to start the water spinning counterclockwise in the toilet before flushing. True to his theory, the water continues to swirl counterclockwise. Little does our naive scientist know, but he has unleashed a butterfly of force that tips the balance of nature and soon begins to affect all nearby bodies of water. Reports escalate of water in sinks, bathtubs, swimming pools, and even weather patterns all mysteriously swirling in the wrong direction! With the basic laws of physics in question, it’s a race against time to find a way to set things back into natural motion, as hurricanes and global storms wreak annihilating destruction upon the surface of the earth. Derrick must find a way to stop his experiment run amok before it ultimately reverses the spin of our planet and wipes away every trace of life, in what will surely be the biggest Swirly of them all!

Filmed entirely on location in Australia (to save on special effects because everything swirls the other way down there already!).