Bad news, guys. All those shiny, electronic gadgets you hold near and dear -- often in your lap while sitting -- are doing serious damage to something important you’ll need in order to procreate: your sperm.
Without getting too health education-y, research shows that the dangerous Radio Frequency radiation and Wi-Fi oozing from laptops and other gadgets “positioned near the male reproductive organs” can turn some 25 percent of sperm into sluggish, stationary microscopic loafs that can’t and won’t do their only job -- swim.
Equally depressing is that lap-situated laptops (they don’t call them laptops for nothing) can even warp your sperm’s DNA. If that’s not bad enough, the risks to your overall sperm quality that smartphones stashed in pants pockets can wreak are just as awful.
While this news is pretty stark, men will probably continue using their electronics as usual. Thankfully, one inventor thinks he has a solution: Wireless Armour boxer briefs.
These electromagnetic radiation-deflecting cotton undergarments are lined with silver meshing (which we hope isn’t scratchy) that essentially creates a Faraday cage that is said to shield your nether regions from at least 99.99 percent of “the entire range of radiation emitted by wireless devices, from voice and texts, through to 4G and Wi-Fi.” Bonus: These snug, durable skivvies are antimicrobial to keep you, er, smelling “fresher for longer.”
British physics teacher Joseph Perkins, 26, invented Wireless Armour underwear after he discovered that his laptop, tablet and phone were exposing his “essentials” to significant amounts of radiation, as he sedately explains in a video to go along with his Indiegogo campaign to mass produce the protective knickers. At press time, the crowdfunding effort had raised about $15,000 toward its $50,500 goal. There are still 20 days left to chip in, if you’re so moved to do so.
Also supposedly made from breathable jersey fabric, Wireless Armour come in four different basic styles, three sizes and in blue or black. But it’s not really about how they look. It’s about what they do -- protect your most valuable assets.
These high-tech undergarments don’t come six to a package. Each pair costs about $60. But if preserving your fertility is a priority for you, they might be worth it.
What crazy apps and gadgets have you come across lately? Let us know by emailing us at or by telling us in the comments below.