Got that awards-show hangover? Can't remember who won the People's Choice, Critics' Choice, or Golden Globes, and it's still two weeks until the Oscars? Here's your splash-in-the-face cure: The Grammys.
Even before the bizarre "no side boob" memo from CBS, the Grammys were the one bright pre-Oscar light in the endless wintery deluge of awards shows. Sick of Anne Hathaway and Ben Affleck speeches and that same montage of scenes from "Lincoln"? We can promise you none of that will drift over into the Grammys. Instead, expect wild clothing choices (don't think that memo's going to hold anyone back), lively performances and almost inevitably, some off-screen or red-carpet or other event that overshadows the actual handing out of the awards
Jennifer Lopez's plunging dress from the 2000 show is so famous, it has its own Wikipedia page. The shirtless Soy Bomb guy weirded out Bob Dylan -- no easy feat -- in 1998.
Recent years have seen two disturbing events take place right before the awards and affect the show. In 2009, singer Rihanna canceled a planned Grammy appearance after her boyfriend, singer Chris Brown, beat her up during an argument in a car the night before the awards. And just last year, legendary singer Whitney Houston died in her bathtub at the Beverly Hilton Hotel the night before the Grammys, which hastily put together a tribute to the Grammy- and Emmy-winner.
Makes you look fondly on the awards of 2011, where the big news was that Lady Gaga arrived inside a giant egg.
It's hard to say what will make headlines at this year's award. Maybe a good old-fashioned musical feud? Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood are reportedly avoiding each other. Frank Ocean and Brown recently clashed in a parking lot. If all four attend, can we settle this with a Sharks-and-Jets style rumble?
With six nominations, Ocean is tied for the most nods -- but the Grammys give out so many awards that he's tied with five other artists. That's why the Grammys always result in photos of people like Adele and Norah Jones holding armloads of the little gramophones.
The Grammys' generosity, and its many perplexing choices, have helped make the honor the butt of many jokes. In 1988, Jethro Tull famously beat Metallica for the hard rock/metal honor -- Jethro Tull is many things, but two of those things are not "hard rock" and "metal."
Even Homer Simpson's barbershop quartet once won a Grammy. Homer gave his to the bellhop as a tip, and as soon as the bellhop realized it was a Grammy, he tossed it off a balcony in disgust. "Hey, don't throw your garbage down here!" yelled another guest.
They may not get any respect, but the Grammys still know how to throw a party -- and make headlines.