Yo! I just hit a marmot! Let's eat!
Nothing ingratiates 20-something billionaires to the masses like self-righteous bloviating about one's new-found dietary practices ... and animal slaughter!
In what may or may not be the latest attempt to show the world that oversharing is caring, Mark Zuckerberg rolled back his own privacy settings to email Fortune about his latest personal challenge. "The only meat I'm eating is from animals I've killed myself," the Facebook CEO apparently actually wrote, according to Fortune.
"I just killed a pig and a goat," Zuckerberg posted May 4 on his private Facebook profile, a status update which "drew a stream of emotional comments, which were a mixture of confusion, curiosity, and outright disgust," Fortune reports. Perhaps they thought Zuck had run amok in FarmVille. Maybe, it was just, "Dude! Pig OR Goat!" Probably, like the hordes of PETA protesters heading his way, they were totally skeeved.
But, hey! Since the killing began, "I'm eating a lot healthier foods. And I've learned a lot about sustainable farming and raising of animals," Zuckerberg told Fortune. "It's easy to take the food we eat for granted when we can eat good things every day."
Zuck's bloodlust for better health began last year, during a cookout epiphany in which he came to realize he was better than everyone else:
I started thinking about this last year when I had a pig roast at my house. A bunch of people told me that even though they loved eating pork, they really didn't want to think about the fact that the pig used to be alive. That just seemed irresponsible to me. I don't have an issue with anything people choose to eat, but I do think they should take responsibility and be thankful for what they eat rather than trying to ignore where it came from.
Under the tutelage of Silicon Valley chef and Palo Alto neighbor Jesse Cool, Zuckerburg visits local farms such as the one where he helped the aforementioned pig and goat slip their mortal coils. "He cut the throat of the goat with a knife, which is the most kind way to do it," Cool told Fortune. One might think sleeping pills or old age would be the kindest way to meet one's maker, but then again one isn't a star chef who hangs out with dotcom billionaires, is one?
Of course, don't get the impression Zuckerberg's killing 24/7, coding away with blood on his paws. He said that thanks to the new DIY diet, he's eating less meat. "This year I've basically become a vegetarian since the only meat I'm eating is from animals I've killed myself," Zuckerberg wrote Fortune, expressing as much understanding of vegetarianism as he apparently has of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act.
Friends who come to dinner at Zuckerberg Manor to get their meal on don't eat nearly as much these days, Zuckerberg told Fortune. "I guess they feel like I don't have too much meat, so I should eat it myself," he said. That, or they don't want him killing more things. (Though you can see what that might look like in this new NMA animation!)
Zuckerberg's Extreme Urban Chicken Farming (yes, he's killed a chicken) is the latest personal challenge, something he says he's done every year in recent memory. Last year he took up Chinese. In 2009, he wore a tie everyday. In 2012, he hunts humans.
OK, probably not. Though if the Harvard dropout did take up "The Most Dangerous Game," he's likely smart enough not to post it on Facebook. According to Fortune however, Zuck has expressed an interest in hunting. And about that chicken kill — he reportedly ate its heart and liver and posted a picture of it on Facebook with a list of its fated dishes. He even saved the feet ... which he reportedly used to make stock, and not a chicken feet bracelet or add it to a growing trophy collection of his barnyard kills.
He uses every part of the animal —that's the great thing about Zuck! (Think of it that way. You'll have less nightmares.)
To be fair, boutique butchery is hot among the previously self-righteous vegan hipsters right now, so Zuckerberg is hardly alone in his practice or opinions. But you know what? Needle felting is all the rage, too ... and only half as creepy.
More on the annoying way we live now:'
Helen A.S. Popkin goes blah blah blah about the Internet. Join her self-righteous bloviating on Twitter and Facebook, won't you?
First published May 26 2011, 2:44 PM