Sheldon (Jim Parsons) seeks revenge after Amy (Mayim Bialik) ruins one of his favorite films on "The Big Bang Theory."
Like any respectable Klingon, "The Big Bang Theory's" Sheldon Cooper knows that revenge is a dish best served cold. The latest victim of his chilly entree was Amy, who dared to criticize "The Raiders of the Lost Ark."
In fact, his candid girlfriend shattered him (and his geek squad) by identifying a "glaring problem" in the original Lucas-Spielberg film: the undeniable fact that Indiana Jones is "completely irrelevant" to the story and its outcome.
Ouch. As Indy himself said, "Now you’re getting nasty."
To right this wrong, Sheldon dissected Amy's favorites — only to be foiled at every turn. "Pride and Prejudice" turned out to be a "flawless masterpiece," and "Marmaduke" and "Garfield" passed the smell test. (Too bad she didn't favor "Ziggy," which Sheldon found to be "riddled with plot holes.")
Frustrated, Sheldon sought his roommate's help — but Leonard wisely backed out the door when Sheldon asked, "Can you think of anything she's fond of that has a bunch of flaws she hasn't noticed?"
His vendetta finally found a suitable target in "Little House on the Prairie," Amy's favorite show when she was a girl. ("It made me want to live on a farm so much I tried to milk my cat.")
- The Ingalls family were illegally squatting on Native American land.
- Laura spread her sandwiches with peanut butter before it was invented.
- The local doctor had a phone long before the service was available in small towns.
In sum, the sci-fi buff said, "If I knew this show was about time travel I would've watched it much sooner. … It's more like 'Little House on the Preposterous.'"
Finally, Amy persuaded him that admitting he was angry was much better than retaliating (a là the Klingons). But Sheldon had the last word: "Your precious Garfield had no reason to hate Mondays. He's a cat. He doesn't have a job."
Across the hall, Leonard was waging another war — against his mother. When psychology student Penny spotted Dr. Beverly Hofstadter's "The Disappointing Child" on her class reading list, she snapped it up. Every chapter documented a humiliating event in Leonard's childhood. After his girlfriend soothed his dismay with lots of sympathy sex, Leonard really played up his Mommy Dearest victimization — which backfired when Penny found out. Like Sheldon, she exacted revenge — surprising Leonard with a Skype visit from Beverly. (Holla, Christine Baranski!)
While Leonard's sex life briefly saw an uptick, Raj and Stuart were struggling to get to first base. They were initially confident after posting their profiles on an online dating site ("That's right ladies," Stuart said, "for all you know I'm confident and fun to be around!"), but no one responded. Next stop: a bar, where they were roundly rejected. Hopefully Raj doesn't become too discouraged, because his new confidence around women is one of the highlights of this season.
Of course, he just might have to find a better role model than Indiana Jones.
First published October 11 2013, 4:49 AM