Feb. 1, 2011 at 3:21 PM ET
For the last time kids, Your Dad and social media do not mix.
As we learned last year from Mr. Jessi Slaughter’s Dad, attempting to harness social media to lash out at those who are hurting your precious daughter’s feelings only results in Internet memes … or in this latest case, a police report.
Jessi Slaughter (not her real name) you may recall, was the 11-year-old who went from foul-mouth participant on an adolescent gossip board to full-on, death-threat-receiving viral star after she posted a video of her seemingly apoplectic father's "epic rant"cussing out the Internet for the (comparatively minor) cyber-harassment of his daughter.
In a new instance of "Pops Just Making It Worse with the Internet," Ricky Culbreth allegedly posted a sexually-explicit Facebook profile using the name and phone number of his daughter’s ex-boyfriend, Lance Mobley. Naturally, Mobley filed a police report. Here’s an excerpt, which barely scratches the surface of a fictitious profile worthy of one of the more twisted episodes of "CSI" (Las Vegas — the one with the Furries and stuff):
The complainant, Lance Mobley, came into the Sheriff's office to file a report in reference to false things being published about him on Facebook. He advised that his ex-girlfriend's father, Ricky Culbreth, became mad at him because he broke up with his daughter. Mr. Culbreth thencreated a fictitious Facebook account using Mr. Mobley’s information in which a sexual image of three men kissing in his profile picture. The basic information describing Mr. Mobley as written by Mr. Culbreth states that Mr. Mobley is interested in having sex with men as well as children and that he is a homosexual.
Some of the sordid details Culbreth included on the fake Facebook profile that didn’t make the police report include occupation: streetwalker, and the uncalled for confession that began, "my daddy died b/c im gay and stupid."
Dude. Dad. Seriously uncool on 10 million different levels.
Further, this furious father obviously failed to grasp that the breadth and depth of these details he plucked from his overly-ripe imagination say more about himself than the daughter's ex-boyfriend he attacked via fake Facebook profile.
Paging Dr. Freud, y’all.
Meanwhile, as that most-loaded of holidays approaches (Valentine’s Day), let this be a reminder on how not to act if you don’t get those dozen roses you were expecting.
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