March 28, 2013 at 9:16 AM ET
Our pre-caffeine roundup is a collection of the hottest, strangest, and most amusing stories of the morning.
FBI (finally!) comes clean on its top X-File: "We never investigated" the infamous Hottel UFO memo! The truth is out there!
More dramatic music! Some Internet users in Europe, and to a lesser degree, the U.S. are finding themselves collateral damage in a war between one of the world's leading anti-spam groups and a Dutch Web hosting company in what is being called one of the Internet's biggest attacks.
More intrigue! Egypt's naval forces captured three scuba divers who were trying to cut an undersea Internet cable in the Mediterranean, a military spokesman said.
The Atlantic reports: "Bust out the stars and stripes, crack open a Pabst and get patriotic because Google Glass, the augmented reality nerd accessory of the future, will be reportedly made in America — by Foxconn."
Fix Chrome, and Google will give you $1,000 ... at least this time.
Twitter can get you fired! Here's (more) proof!
In closing: 29 reasons Doctor Who would make a terrible boyfriend ... unless it's the 10th Doctor ... whom I love.