Feb. 13, 2013 at 9:59 AM ET
Our pre-caffeine roundup is a collection of the hottest, strangest, and most amusing stories of the morning.
Just when you thought it was safe to go out of the bunker, there's a fresh wave of doomsday buzz over a purported 12th-century prophecy suggesting that the next pope will be the last pope before the end of the world.
President Barack Obama signed an executive order for better protection from cyber attacks.
In State of the Union news, the Internet seems pretty convinced about John Boehner and Grumpy Cat.
Following the provocative nuclear test performed by North Korea, but some people are trying to relieve the tension using the Internet tradition of sarcastic reviews — this time, of the Google Maps' locations of the test sites.
And in case you were wondering: Here's why Google pays Apple $1 billion a year.
Someone's got a birthday comin' up! Buy an atheism bus-ad from the British Humanist Association!
In closing: Banana Joe!