The quintessential Wikipedia editor is a 25-year-old guy, a graduate student and typically overrepresented in the fields of science, technology, engineering and mathematics. Except for maybe in the last 24 hours. Apoplectic over bassist and vocalist Esperanza Spalding's dark horse win for Best New Artist Grammy, beating out Justin Bieber, True Beliebers took to Wikipedia to vent their rage over this shocking injustice.
While there’s no quick way to prove that the more than 90 edits made on Spalding’s Wikipedia entry in the hours following her win were largely the work of adolescent girls, much of the handiwork is in the now-notorious style of today’s refined young ladies of the Internet.
"JUSTIN BIEBER DESERVED IT GO DIE IN A HOLE. WHO THE HECK ARE YOU ANYWAY?" is just one of the un-annotated "facts"added since to Spalding’s entry last night. "SHE IS F****** REATARD," is another of the whimsical turns of phrase (with spelling to match!), added, and since edited from the post. And according to one helpful editor, Spalding’s middle name was, ever so briefly, "Quesadilla."
To be fair, not all of the offending Wikipedia edits dripped with hormones and poorly-blended eye shadow. Trolls were quick to bait Beliebers with anti-Bieber jabs; several tinged with the homophobia typical of the Internet and often attributed to males. "HaHa Justin Bieber, you're just a little boy with no Grammy for Best New Artist.irehjbpojeh[ker" represents a more polite example of Bieber-losing Schadenfreude added and then edited.
Some updates, of course, were just fun: "(Dan cannot believe the Biebs did not win)"
Meanwhile, Spalding — comparatively obscure until her Grammy night crime against Bieber — now ranks among those rarefied few to receive Bieber-inspired death threats from teenage girls. Sure, it’s about as scary as a puppy attack (though not nearly as adorable!), but Spalding is right up there with Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez, and Greg Leuch, that one dude who invented the Shaved Bieber Firefox extension that removes Justin Bieber from your Internet experience.
Historically, there’s no bigger threat to your budding music career than winning the Grammy for Best New Artist. Thanks to a pack of violently incensed Justin Bieber fans with Internet access and zero parental oversight, Spalding may be saved from the curse of obscurity suffered by past Best New Artist winners, gaining notoriety beyond the award. Certainly, 20 ka-jillion girls who didn't know Spalding yesterday, sure enough know about her now.
More stories about the annoying way we live now:
- Dude-centric Wikipedia needs more women
- Justin Bieber Army fills Twitter with death threats ... again
- Teen survives Justin Bieber-inspired death threats
- Geek fight club old news, still stupid
Helen A.S. Popkin is always going blah blah blah about the Int ernet. You're welcome to join her self-righteous bloviating on Facebook and/or Twitter.