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Pre-caffeine tech: Vulcan moon, Banana Joe!

Banana Joe, an Affenpinscher, stands beside its trophy after winning the 137th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show at Madison Square Garden in New York, ...
Banana Joe, an Affenpinscher, stands beside its trophy after winning the 137th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show at Madison Square Garden in New York, February 12, 2013.SHANNON STAPLETON / Reuters

Our pre-caffeine roundup is a collection of the hottest, strangest, and most amusing stories of the morning.

Just when you thought it was safe to go out of the bunker, there's a fresh wave of doomsday buzz over a purported 12th-century prophecy suggesting that the next pope will be the last pope before the end of the world.

President Barack Obama signed an executive order for better protection from cyber attacks.

In State of the Union news, the Internet seems pretty convinced about John Boehner and Grumpy Cat.

Following the provocative nuclear test performed by North Korea, but some people are trying to relieve the tension using the Internet tradition of sarcastic reviews — this time, of the Google Maps' locations of the test sites.

Apple just dropped prices on Retina MacBook Pro and MacBook Air models.

And in case you were wondering: Here's why Google pays Apple $1 billion a year.

Meanwhile, nearly 800,000 people were waiting for a chance to try Mailbox, a new Gmail client for iOS.

Fascinating! William Shatner boosts "Vulcan" as a name for one of those Pluto moons.

Someone's got a birthday comin' up! Buy an atheism bus-ad from the British Humanist Association!

In closing: Banana Joe!

Compiled by Helen A.S. Popkin, who invites you to join her on Twitter and/or Facebook.