How has becoming a mother affected your career and the kind of boss you are?
I think being a mom has made the people around me more understanding. I don't think that people necessarily expect the same of me anymore, which I think is a testament of the amazing people I work with. I feel like they realize that when you become a mother your child comes first and I think that’s how most people should be. It’s different in everybody's situation, but the pressure to be the best mom and to be the best at your job is unattainable. Ask for that help and tell people that it’s needed and you’ll find that most people feel the same as you and you’ll be happy that you spoke up. It’s too hard to constantly put pressure on yourself to make your life be what it was — because it will never be what it once was. Your life is forever changed once you become a mother so allow the changes to make you a bigger, stronger, better version of yourself.
Has your vision for your career path changed now that you are a mom?
My vision for my career has definitely changed, for sure. I started my career in fashion and I still love fashion, but I think that I have found more worth about being honest in motherhood than simply doing fashion. I’ll always do a little of both, but for me helping moms out there feel good about themselves makes me feel so much better than telling people like how to look cute for work. You know what I mean?
What is the biggest difference about being a mother today versus when your mom had you?
Everybody is so afraid that someone else is going to disagree with them and it gets in the way of being the best parent that you can be.
I think the difference is the societal pressure and what you do and see when you're comparing yourself to everybody, every day. Our parents didn't have social media so they don’t know — there weren't a million resources out there telling them what they needed to buy, what they needed to be doing, all these safety hazards … I think it was more about trusting your gut and now everybody is so afraid that someone else is going to disagree with them and I think it gets in the way of being the best parent that you can be.
How do you cope with that pressure?
I honestly think that you need to only trust a couple of people. When it comes to questions about your kid, talk to your doctor, talk to other moms you really trust, but try not to get overwhelmed by the influx of information and content that we see because it will make you insecure about what you are doing and you will not know how to be the best parent to your child. You also have to trust your gut. You just have to. No matter what anyone else says you know your child the best, so you have to trust your gut and instinct when making decisions for their well-being.
How do you ensure that you're getting your needs met?
I make sure I get what I need by constantly communicating. It’s so important to tell your husband when you need help, to be able to ask for help, to have your coworkers help when you need it. It’s those times when you’re constantly complaining in your own brain and not getting it out there that you feel resentful in your own life. I think it’s so important to communicate what you need to those around you.
How do you manage to keep your relationship a priority?
Keeping your relationship a priority is honestly the number one way to maintain a happy and healthy family life. You guys are the foundation of the family — it was the 2 of you before the 3 of you — and if you aren't happy, I honestly feel like the whole family is going to fall apart. It’s so important to take that time to reconnect and to communicate and to check in. Sometimes even before you get to the baby’s needs.