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Lopsided ladies lament: It's not easy being uneven

Danielle Staub underwent breast surgery revision for her uneven assets on an episode of "Real Housewives of New Jersey."
Danielle Staub underwent breast surgery revision for her uneven assets on an episode of "Real Housewives of New Jersey."Getty Images

In the "Real Housewives of New Jersey," Danielle Staub recently went under the knife to get her cosmetically-botched breasts evened out since one was bigger --- and higher -- than the other. But Danielle isn’t the only “unbalanced” female out there. “Ninety percent of women have some type of asymmetric breasts,” says Dr. Tony Youn, a plastic surgeon in Troy, Mich. “It’s very common. One side of our body is always a little different from the other. There are some women that have minor asymmetry -– to the point where they don’t even notice it -- and others who are one, two or three cup sizes different from one side to the other.” Such is the case for Christine, a 38-year-old media consultant from Seattle, who asked not to give her last name for fear of being outed as having what she calls “teeter totter" ta-tas. “It’s like I’m big boob girl and medium boob girl,” she says. “I first noticed it during puberty and was more self-conscious about it then, but now I just wear this shoulder pad thing that you can buy in any lingerie department. It’s kind of expected that women are asymmetrical but with some women, it’s just more dramatic than others.” Perhaps the most dramatic asymmetry is found with Poland’s Syndrome, a medical condition where -- among other symptoms -- women (or men) will have one “normal” breast and one breast that completely lacks muscle, breast tissue or even a nipple. Breast-feeding can also cause one breast to become smaller or droopier, says Youn (“The droopier side is usually the baby’s favorite”) as can cosmetic surgery complications, such as an implant that’s “gone bad.” Although asymmetrical breasts are perfectly normal, Youn says they can still affect some women’s self-image and even their ability to have relationships. “I’ve had women in their late 20s come in and say I’ve never taken my shirt off in front of a man before,” he says. “They feel quote unquote deformed.” Christine, who recently married, is more philosophical about her “lopsided ladies.” “Maybe if I had an endless amount of money I’d have surgery, but it’s more like why bother at this point,” she says. “It’s irritating and you have to learn to dress for your figure. But boys don’t care. They’re just like, whatever.” Do you have any other asymmetries you're embarrassed about? Proud of? Tell us about it in the comments. To read more Body Odd posts, click here. You can also find us on Twitter and on Facebook.