A recent study suggests many older people lead active sex lives — and why shouldn't they? That was the response from many readers, who say aging has hardly hindered their sexual satisfaction.
"Our sex life has gotten even better because our relationship has grown in depth as well as longevity," writes Mona. "We are aging; that's a part of life. But because the love, trust and care is there, we see past the imperfections into the light in our eyes and the joy in our hearts."
One reader thinks her reduced stress after retirement helped bolster her and her husband's sex life. "I am 61 and my husband is 57, and since I retired I enjoy sex so much that I could have it every night," writes that reader. "I guess during my career days I was just too tired and not interested."
Keep reading for more responses.
My husband and I will be married 34 years this October. We never go a day without saying "I love you" to each other; we go on dates; I took up golf to be with him for those long hours on the golf course. Never stop talking to each other and always find things to laugh about.
Romance is still alive because I have been single for 15 years and see my SO only on weekends and for special events including a lot of traveling and cruising. Sex life at 80/85 is GREAT!
— Herb, Sunnyvale, Calif.
We're 68 and 80 and we have sex at least 4 times a week. Now I realize that's more than usual, but we stimulate our sex lives by going out to resorts regularly and best of all sleeping nude, nothing like bare skin.
Paul is 53 and I'm 51 and we've been together 25 years. He uses Viagra and I found that a lubricant is important. We talk dirty and have become less inhibited with our bodies. Who cares that I have a few more wrinkles and laugh lines. After 2 children, gravity is winning, but Paul loves me however I look, and I love him for it.
— Ellen, Pleasant Valley, Calif.
Sex is such a wonderful way to express how we feel about one another and, of course, it's fun! 1. My husband and I still treat each other with respect 2. We maintain a sense of humor. 3. We treat each other as friends as well as lovers. 4. We stay flexible and open to new ideas. 5. We touch and hold each other. 6. Really stay present and listen to each other. 7. And sometimes we do things for one another, even if we don't want to, but know the other person will appreciate it. 8. We work out our problems or misunderstandings quickly. 9. We don't punish, manipulate or stay mad. ... 10. We give each other privacy and breathing space as needed. For spice there are a few really excellent mainstream films we have on DVD. We've yet to get all the way through "Sea Of Love" without taking a "break." The main thing, at least for us, is that the spice and turn on come from playfulness and deep caring.
Hold her hand when you don't have to. Kiss and hug her when you don't have to. Be demonstrative and be sure the only four letter word you use in conversation with her is LOVE. Watch an iceberg melt, slowly but surely.
— Don, North Augusta, S.C.
My husband and I have been married 28 years. He is 70 and I'm 55 years old. We keep our romance and sex life alive and spicy by doing the following things: We sleep in the nude. We take frequent trips with the fantasy that we are having a honeymoon and act accordingly. Our sex life has changed over the years because we are willing to be less inhibited and more experimental. We read a lot about sex from a variety of sources and love to watch beautiful, sensual erotica. At 55 I am not yet in menopause, but as I've aged, I've noticed that I am more sensitive sexually which makes sex more exciting. Our positive attitude about ourselves as sexual beings and willingness to sustain a youthful anticipation about sex is the real key to keeping romance alive and spicy.
— Wanda, Grass Valley, Calif.
My partner and I engage in foreplay (smiling, touching, and complimenting) all throughout the day. This activity makes us eager to want to be intimate at the end of the day. But as we have aged (60-80), we only have sex about twice a week. The constant foreplay keeps our relationship on the edge of sex all the time.
— Charlotte, Simpsonville, S.C.
Get her something for nothing so she knows I am thinking about her. Her favorite candy from the store, a card on the front seat of the car. A phone call at work just to say I was thinking about you and thought I would call to say "I love you."
— Tim, Canon City, Colo.
We have been married for 25 years now. There was a time when our children were young and the bills were stacking up that our sex life dropped off. Now we are in our mid 40s and things are better then ever in our sex life. One thing we noticed is that we have sex more often than many of our younger friends. I think the reason is because of stress, which, as I see it, unless you work together as a team can only get worse. Try to remember what you first loved about your partner. Keep that in mind and think of how things were at the start of your relationship. Then when your partner wants to have sex and you think you're not in the mood, think of those things. I find that if I can let go of the stress, the love, my mood changes. ... Over the years this is what my husband and I have done and as I said we are 25 years into a great life together.
— N., Calif.
Keep your body trim and fit. No reason for flab even as a senior. I am a 60-year-old male who is extremely fit.
After 51 years we still say "I love you," at least four or five times a day. ... We talk about what, how, when, and at the time of sex we say to each other what we want, with the magic words, "I love you."
— Ed, Albuquerque, N.M.