Republicans assert dominance in the bedroom

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Republicans control Congress and the White House.  According to an informal study in the latest issue of “GQ” magazine, the GOP is also asserting its dominance over Democrats in the bedroom. 

The anonymous author, who wrote the piece for “GQ” reports “After years of intensive research on both sides of the aisle, I’m here to report that Republican men are infinitely better to have sex with.”

The article in the April issue of “GQ” lays out 10 reasons why Republicans are better and kinkier in the sack. 

“GQ” deputy editor, Michael Hainey joined Tucker Carlson on ‘Situation’ to explain the magazine’s findings.

To read an excerpt from their conversation, continue to the text below. To watch the video, click on the "Launch" button to the right.

TUCKER CARLSON, HOST, ‘SITUATION’:  This is so good.  She says—whoever this woman is—I asked you in the commercial break who it was.  You would not reveal her name, but I’m kind of in love I have to say, because she writes very well. 

She says of Democrats, they’re so emotional and sensitive and genuinely care about your day and how you feel and how you felt yesterday.  Is there anything you need, they whimper?  Oh shut up, she says. 


CARLSON:  They’re too sensitive to be good; that’s her point. 

HAINEY:  Right.  I think, you know, it’s funny.  I think she does a great job of saying what I think a lot of Democrats feel.  I don’t you.  You and I are the same age, but we grew up believing the Democratic Party is the party of JFK, a very randy and virile party.


HAINEY:  And just like most domestic issues, the Republicans vaulted over the Democrats, you know, and slowly taken what was once their sort of right, which was the sort of party of free love, if you might say.  And they’ve become the more virile party.  It’s a national disgrace, if you ask me. 

CARLSON:  Because, in fact, guilt and politics are both the enemies of sex.

HAINEY:  Right.

CARLSON:  And she makes that point.  She has a line in here about Republicans.  They understand that foreplay is about sex and lots of it.  Democrats are too busy checking if the condoms you keep by the bed are good for the environment. 

HAINEY:  True.  I think she also makes a great point that, you know, Republicans, they’re great on dates, because you know, they’ll just spend and they won’t care about, you know, who pays the bill.  So once again, they sort of like spend, have a good time and they’ll worry about it later. 

CARLSON:  Now, you edit a men’s magazine, so I know you spend a lot of time thinking about the relationship between men and women.

HAINEY:  Right.

CARLSON:  You really get the sense that this woman is probably a Democrat, probably some center left, you know, kind of moderate Democrat.  And for that reason, probably in name a feminist, but everything she says is kind of antifeminist.

She makes the point that men who don’t decide or proclaim where you’re having dinner are wusses.  And there’s nothing less appealing than a wuss.  Whatever happened to the kind of, you know, the feminist view that we go Dutch on dinner and we, you know, come to a group decision on things like that?

HAINEY:  I think she’s simply saying, you know, maybe she’s more of a Hillary Clinton.  She wants a stronger man there.  I don’t think you should be threatened, Tucker. 

CARLSON:  I’m not threatened at all.  I’m kind of aroused, honestly.  I mean, she likes Republicans, because they have no conscience and they’re less sensitive. 

HAINEY:  Exactly, yes, and because you know, they have no regard for who’s going to be going into debt or anything.  She’s like, you know, they come in.  They take control.  They tell you what they want to do.  And I guess she’s found out that’s very attractive to a woman. 

CARLSON:  “A Republican man will never, ever cry,” she writes.  I remember when I was little, like in the ‘70s, long before I was dating, but there was this idea that men who laid out their emotions for women, who wept, you know, and really empathized deeply, and basically acted like Clinton used to in speeches, were irresistible to women.  Do you think that’s true?

HAINEY:  I think, you know, she’s pointing out that, you know, too many of the Jimmy Carter-Alan Alda era coming off of there in the ‘70s.  And you know, Reagan, once again, sort of like set the standard for, you know, what a strong sort of like virile man, a strong and silent type is, you know.  And you mentioned Clinton.  I mean, the guy obviously had his charms and ways of using them. 

CARLSON:  I guess it worked.  I mean, you can convince women to sleep with you by crying, I guess.  It does work. 

Now I’ve asked you to synopsize the research of another social scientist, a female, and I think you’ve done a really great job.  Let me ask you about something you have more first-hand experience with.  Republican women, are they more appealing in bed than Democratic women?

HAINEY:  Did I say I’m more experienced with that? 

CARLSON:  I assume you did.

HAINEY:  I have crossed party lines only a couple of times in my life.  I don’t know about you, Tucker.  But I think that there’s a reason maybe people like Lindsey Graham crossed party lines.  You sort of, like, want to experiment, and then you sort of come back to where you want to be. 

CARLSON:  So there’s no objective answer for that. 


CARLSON:  The women of one party are not superior to the women of the other party?

HAINEY:  You know, if you want to meet later we can go out to some bar and do an experiment.  We can do that. 

CARLSON:  This piece makes a claim, and this is apparently vetted by editors of “GQ” and possibly even you personally about physical attributes of Republican men and saying they’re superior. 

But it makes a grandiose claim about Republican men.  Do you have research to back that up or is just she going on experience and instinct?

HAINEY:  I think, you know, there’s probably no coincidence that the symbol of the party is a Republican.  I mean, is an elephant and, you know.  You know, some things are hung like elephants, I don’t know.  But you know, there’s probably a reason for that. 

CARLSON:  That is a very solid point.  I got through a lot of college English courses without ever seeing the symbolism in the Republican elephant, but now I do.