What's the best sex position? How many people sign prenups? And what could cause a penis to go numb? Sexploration answers your queries. Have an intimate question? To e-mail us, click here.
Q: Bottom line, what is the best sex position?
A: I’m tempted to paraphrase Lincoln who, when asked how long a man’s legs should be, said: “Long enough to reach the ground.”
I mean, the best position is the one that works, right? Picking one and calling it “best” is virtually impossible. Seriously, think about it. I can name about 25 sex positions off the top of my head and I don’t have much of an imagination. There are scores, maybe hundreds. Throw in the dining room furniture, swimming pools, hotel balconies, pillows, the hallway stairs, and the mind boggles.
Positions that hit both your joy centers are always good. This is why some women like it on top, because the clitoris sometimes gets more stimulation that way. Men? Well, we like just about everything, as long as you’re not calling for a double Tsukahara. Positions that make women feel “tighter” are always welcome.
If you do find a position you like best, be sure to vary things anyway. Keep it interesting.
People with certain disabilities or diseases like arthritis may need positions suited for their particular circumstances. A book titled "The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability" by Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg and Fran Odette, is a good place to look. When I contacted Silverberg, he noted that most rehab centers will provide guidance, including illustrated instructions.
Q: Is it known what percentage of couples who marry today will have signed a prenuptial agreement before they say “I do”?
A: According to Arlene G. Dubin, an attorney in the New York office of Sonnenschein Nath & Rosenthal, and author of "Prenups for Lovers," nobody knows for sure because most prenups are never put into the public record. Like sex, it’s one of those things many people don’t mention.
But, she says, “there has been an explosion” of prenups in recent years. She estimates, based on anecdote, that about 10 percent of first marriages and 20 percent of second marriages now have a prenup attached. (Lessons learned, so to speak.)
She thinks that by 2020 more than half of all marriages will have such an agreement, a rise partly driven by the increasing economic power of women.
Big cities like New York and Los Angeles have more prenups because there are more rich people around with stuff to protect. But people who have inheritances, no matter where they live, are signing up, too.
Q: My penis head feels numb, and I can’t ejaculate. What are the possibilities? This has been going on for weeks. I’m starting to get scared.
A: Say, you aren’t using one of those vacuum pumps to masturbate, are you? Or to turn that cute-as-a-button penis into The Intimidator because you heard vacuum pumps can lengthen it? I ask because those things can make you numb. Stop it.
Could you be training for the Tour de France? Are you forgetting how long you’ve been on that stationary bike at the gym because you’ve been staring at the really cute woman on the treadmill in front of you? Sitting on those uncomfortable seats for a long time can compress nerves and blood vessels that supply the penis. This can lead to numbness, not to mention impotence (usually temporary). Israeli doctors reported in the journal European Urology that “the most common bicycling associated urogenital problems are nerve entrapment syndromes presenting as genitalia numbness, which is reported in 50 to 91 percent of the cyclists, followed by erectile dysfunction reported in 13 to 24 percent.”
But here’s a question for you: This has been going on for a few weeks and you’re scared and you are writing to me? Have you never heard of urologists? They spend years learning all kinds of fun facts about penises and prostates and nerves and blood vessels. See one.
Brian Alexander is a California-based writer who covers sex, relationships and health. Alexander, also a Glamour contributing editor, is traveling around the country to find out how Americans get sexual satisfaction for the MSNBC.com special report "America Unzipped" and in an upcoming book for Harmony, an imprint of Crown Publishing.
Sexploration appears every other Thursday.