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Keith’s Quotables

/ Source: msnbc.com

Following are quotes from last week’s editions of

  •  “According to a new study, seven percent of applicants for mall Santas and their elf helpers had police records, their crimes including indecent exposure, harassment, risk of injury to a minor, and soliciting prostitution. Bringing an entirely new meaning to that time honored call, ‘ho, ho, ho.’”
  • “Henry Kormanic of Columbus, Ohio had to be rescued by firefighters.  He and his mother were locked out of their house so Henry became at least the second person in the last week to think he could recreate Santa’s stunt and slide down the chimney.  Before there was the MTV show ‘Jackass,’ there was Santa and this chimney jazz.”
  • “A shock for Fox Broadcasting Co.  The publicist for the heiress Paris Hilton has scrapped her promotional tour for her TV debut in ‘The Simple Life.’ Apparently, somebody thinks she has gotten too much exposure lately... Hilton has canceled appearances scheduled for ‘Live with Regis and Kelly,’ ‘Total Request Live,’ David Letterman, and Craig Kilborn. Wait, Craig Kilborn is still on the air?"