"I feel terrible... They're human beings."
U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, apologizing for the abuse of Iraqi detainees by their American military jailers
"I'd even be willing to give him my opinion of the election in November, if he wants to know."
Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, jokingly offering his advice to President George W. Bush on how to win the U.S. election. Rodriguez Zapatero and Bush are at odds over the Spanish P.M.'s decision to withdraw his country's troops from Iraq.
"They came from God, they go back to God.''
Jumai Isa, on her husband and five children, who were hacked to death by Christian militiamen in Nigeria last week. The attack, the latest in a three-month-long conflict between Christian and Muslim tribes, left an estimated 630 dead.
"They have removed the heart—Aristide. We are now waiting on the operating table for a transplant, and the operation is being done without anesthesia."
Leslie Voltaire, former minister of Haitians Living Abroad, lamenting Haiti's economic deterioration since President Jean-Bertrand Aristide's ouster in February
"We're not waiting for the day of Cuban freedom, we are working for the day of freedom in Cuba."
President George Bush, after a presidential committee recommended that the United States take steps to block the planned succession of Cuban leader Fidel Castro's younger brother Raul
"Who's more important to him—his wife or a dog?"
Nanjing, China, resident Xiao Fang, reacting to her husband's divorce request after she hired four hit men to kill his dog. She feared the pet would make a mess of their apartment.
"Britney was absolutely devastated when I told her."
Actress Taryn Manning, on breaking the news to pal Britney Spears that the Japanese symbols tattooed on her hipbone were meaningless gibberish
Sources from top to bottom: New York Times (2), guardian.co.uk, New York Times, AP, BBC, The Mirror