This week, the games publisher Electronic Arts, or EA, announced a deal with Disney to exclusively produce "Star Wars" video games for the next few years. Cue the Imperial March theme.
We've given Electronic Arts a hard time in the past, but in our defense, with debacles like the overloaded "SimCity 3" servers, their habit of slipping microtransactions into full-price games, and the yearly inanity that is "Madden Football," they just make it so easy.
So is EA a wretched hive of scum and villainy, or is the beleaguered game publisher just looking for love in Alderaan places?
This "Star Wars" deal gives us a new hope. We believe there is still good in EA. We can sense it. That's why we've compiled this list of game ideas that mix tried-and-true EA properties with "Star Wars" style.
Just remember, EA: Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.
'Dead Space: The Kessel Run'
Isaac Clarke must navigate through the perilous black holes that comprise the Maw, while battling a crippling addiction to the hallucinogenic spice drugs from the mines of Kessel.
'The Sims 4: A New Home'
Because home is where the planet-destroying superweapon is. The game requires a persistent Internet connection to simulate the way the Force connects and binds all living things together, and then makes their servers crash. Day One downloadable content: Jabba's Sex Dungeon
'Medal of Honor: Stormtrooper'
This groundbreaking prequel to the "Medal of Honor" series definitively links our universe with the galaxy far, far away. It also explains why the bad guys have such bad aim.
'Madden Galactic Football 2013'
They release this every year, with only minor updates. This year, Luke has a goatee! Shut up, you know you'll still buy it.
'Black & White 3: The Unifying Force'
You are one with the Force in this reboot of an elegant game from a more civilized age. Will you be a guardian for peace and justice in the galaxy? Or will you succumb to the might of the Dark Side?
'Blood Bounty: Bounty of Blood'
An EA original like "Shadows of the Damned" and "Dante's Inferno." So you know it's going to be terrible. Day One downloadable content: Gungan Gang Wars. Jar-Jar Binks returns.
'Need for Speed: Podracing'
Story mode: You play as Ani, a precocious 9-year-old slave who must manage his cruel boss, his ailing mother, and the harsh streets of Mos Eisley while pursuing his dream to build and race pods. Multiplayer mode: GO RLY FAST IN STAR WARS STUFF WHAT MORE DO U WANT
'Mos Eisley Cantina Rock Band'
The game comes with a Kloo Horn controller, but you'll have to pay extra for the Fanfar and the Doremian Beshniquel.
'Army of Two: The Fur and the Fury'
Play co-op with Han and Chewie as you battle your way through Imperial slavers, ruthless bounty hunters, and fellow smugglers. Competition between players is encouraged, but when push comes to shove, remember — let the Wookie win.
In this variant on the perennially popular "Bejeweled," you'll make your first lightsaber by carefully aligning the focusing crystals. Be careful — if you make a mistake, you might lose a hand!
'Krayt Dragon Age'
You play as a young inductee into an ancient, dark order who must protect the planet from an ancient threat while negotiating the perilous world of politics, social inequality … and love. And there are dragons.
'Ewoks vs. Zombies'
You've got the rock-throwing Ewok, the wooden spear Ewok, the crying baby Ewok … we can picture the end cut scene now. Try to tell us you wouldn't buy all the expansion packs for this. Go on, try.
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