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Body language expert Janine Driver: How to shed 100 pounds of grief and clutter

It’s easier than you think! Driver updates Know Your Value on her weight loss journey and gets raw and real about what's next.
Janine Driver relaxes in her new porch at home.
Janine Driver relaxes in her new porch at home.Courtesy Janine Driver

What haunts you?

What I really want to say is …

What matters now?

What have you learned about yourself that you didn’t realize before?

These questions give a sneak peek into a course I took that helped me lose what feels like 100 pounds of mental weight in just three weeks.

Change the way you look at things

Before I share what happened and how it might help you during your weight loss journey, I want you to answer these two questions:

  1. Do you think it’s unrealistic to try a new approach to solving an old problem?
  2. Are we fools for thinking we have the ability to change our lives for the better?

Maybe there’s a piece of advice someone shared with you when you were a kid that became your mantra? My amazing mom would remind me and my two younger sisters about a famous quote from author and motivational speaker Dr. Wayne Dyer: “Change the way you look at things the things you look at change.”

Keeping that in mind, along with my history of losing and gaining 100+ pounds in each direction, I decided to change the way I look at the scale during this final weight loss journey. I have the power to create a better me, a better life – and so do you!

RELATED: Janine Driver: I gained 100 pounds during quarantine – Here's how I am getting back on track

In late February and early March I took a live, online writing workshop ― along with six other women ― led by grief specialist, eulogist and comedian Terry Moore.

We all signed up for different reasons: One person was grieving the loss of her relationship with a relative, another recently suffered a miscarriage and grieved that along with her tumultuous dating life, another woman grieved the loss of the sale of her childhood home.

As for me, I grieved my helplessness over sugar and shared with the group how my mom would give me McDonald’s when I had intense period cramps as a preteen. During another week, I shared how junk food was given to me as a reward for big wins in life. I ended my written grief story with the line, “F--- you, McDonalds!” Somehow, that became the mantra for everyone else in the workshop. As you might imagine, this one line would send us from crying to laughing almost instantly.

Now you might be wondering what this has to do with my 100-pound weight loss journey. First, I must admit that I had hoped the grief writing workshop would move the needle on my scale magically ― it did NOT. However, what DID happen was infinitely more valuable than shedding two pounds a week.

Decluttering the grief

See, it felt like a 100-pound “mental weight” had been lifted off my shoulders and out of my heart. The emotional clearing that took place created a wide field inside me to love myself exactly as I am, at my current weight and at my current size 20. I’m still on my 100-pound weight loss journey, it’s just that I realized I had a bigger issue to tackle: hidden grief that created unconscious limited beliefs about my self-worth.

The next thing you know, I had an explosion of self-love and a bolt of energy to do things that I wanted to do for years (and in some cases decades).

I renovated my nasty 1970’s laundry room…

Driver's new and improved laundry room.
Driver's new and improved laundry room.Courtesy Janine Driver

I gave my bedroom a romantic makeover …

Driver transformed her bedroom with a darker color and shifted her bed to another side to open up the space.
Driver transformed her bedroom with a darker color and shifted her bed to another side to open up the space.Courtesy Janine Driver

And I gave my screened porch some much-needed TLC.

Driver revitalized her dark porch with white walls and new furniture. "Since I finished my porch, I've been out there non-stop. I was literally on a yoga mat on the floor and felt like I was surrounded by JOY!"
Driver revitalized her dark porch with white walls and new furniture. "Since I finished my porch, I've been out there non-stop. I was literally on a yoga mat on the floor and felt like I was surrounded by JOY!"Courtesy Janine Driver

Now that I’ve decluttered my grief, decluttered my stinkin’ thinkin’ and decluttered my home, I reached out to my life coach, Kerri Richardson, author of “What Your Clutter is Trying to Tell You” and “From Clutter to Clarity,” to decode the messages in my messes and how they may reinforce an over-weight lifestyle.

I’ll share videos of Kerri’s mind-blowing coaching in my next post, because I suspect that like me, you might be unaware of what the messes in your life are telling you!

RELATED: Why a cluttered desk kills your productivity — and how to fix it

So while I’m hovering at a 23-pound weight loss for now, I open my eyes and smile each morning when I look at my romantic room and the fresh flowers on my bureau that I buy myself each week. I take a deep breath and I stretch. I’m alive. I’m happy.

Looking to make a change? Consider these two challenges this month:

  • Look into taking a grief writing workshop, whether it’s the same one I took with Terry Moore or another similar course offered online.
  • Read the book “A Woman’s Worth” by Marianne Williamson because we will talk about how this book has impacted my weight loss journey in the coming weeks.

I'm sending you love as you think about your grief stories and how they may be impacting not only your weight loss journey, but the first breath and the first smile of your day.