"I have so much more time now to hang out with P.J. and Squee," Damon said.
Robert De Niro reprised his role as special counsel Robert Mueller, who's investigating Russian influence on the 2016 presidential campaign. He handed Trump a folded up piece of paper that looked like it might be a subpoena.
"It's a picture of my grandson," Mueller said. "I’ve been spending so much more time with him since I don’t have to investigate some idiot for treason."
The world was better off, even for Trump. An immigrant who would have been denied entry under the president's proposed "Muslim ban" invented a solution for hair loss that had the real estate mogul's mop looking lush.
Yet, Trump concluded, "I want to be president again." He got his wish.
But the real President Trump did not seem to enjoy the joke.
In a tweet posted Sunday morning, he appeared to suggest there was possible "collusion" between NBC and the Democratic Party in the writing and production of "Saturday Night Live." The president then asked about the legality of the satirical show.
A REAL scandal is the one sided coverage, hour by hour, of networks like NBC & Democrat spin machines like Saturday Night Live. It is all nothing less than unfair news coverage and Dem commercials. Should be tested in courts, can’t be legal? Only defame & belittle! Collusion?
On the "Weekend Update" news segment skit, Trump was all too present as president.
Co-host Colin Jost noted that nearly every facet of Trump's public life, including his time in the White House, his campaign, his charity, his inauguration committee and his business, were subjects of probes.
"This last week was a pretty bad year for Donald Trump," Jost said.
Co-host Michael Che expressed amazement at Trump's response to Cohen's imprisonment. Trump tweeted on Thursday that he relied on Cohen to do what was right under the law.
"He was a lawyer and he is supposed to know the law," the president said.
"You know who else is supposed to know the law?" Che asked. "The friggin' president of the United States. I mean, the Pope should know the Bible. ... Doctors know medicine. Arby's knows meat."
"Weekend Update" also had fun with former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, who took himself out of the running to become Trump's next chief of staff. A photo of a rotund Christie in a jogging suit, bending in pain, was displayed.
"Also taking Chris Christie out of the running," Che said, " — side cramps."
The musical guests were Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus.
Dennis Romero writes for NBC News and is based in Los Angeles.