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A Deathbed Confession

Val Patterson had the last laugh after he died from throat cancer on July 10.

The obituary begins like any other until this sentence appears “I have confessions and things I should now say.” He then continues to confess a wide array of offenses including lying about earning a PH-D and he was the one who ruined the Park Rangers geyser.

At the end of the Salt Lake Tribune obituary he did offer commentary to his friends and family and how much he loved his wife, Mary Jane.

To read the full obituary click here and check out what The Cyclicst says they would tell in their obituary.