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Pre-caffeine tech: Dotcom craziness, best friend memes!

via BuzzFeed

Our pre-caffeine roundup is a collection of the hottest, strangest, and most amusing stories of the morning. Here's everything that you need to know before taking that first sip of coffee today

Ding, ding ding! Your time is up! This is not a drill: You can no longer avoid using Timeline on Facebook, something that until now has been optional.

Oh, and Google plans to unify its privacy policy and terms of service across its online offerings, including its flagship search, Gmail and Google+ products, to make them easier to use, but the move could attract greater scrutiny from anti-trust regulators.

Does that make Google "evil?" Meh. Not so much.

But on the other hand ...

Whether you're worried about hackers, advertisers or your own inability to keep your data locked down, it's time for a chat. Join's Helen A.S. Popkin  (that's me) Thursday at 1 p.m. ET/10 a.m. PT, and bring all of your questions, concerns and observations about your personal privacy, on Facebook or on the Internet in general. (Look for the link in tomorrow's link dump - fingers crossed I don't mess it up!)

Speaking of piracy: Oh that crazy Kim Dotcom (of Megaupload infamy)! "Come for coffee, don't forget the cocaine,'" Dotcom joked in an email to the Neighborhood Watch soon after moving into his New Zealand neighborhood.

Meanwhile, last night's State of the Union address will be the first time reporters will be able to bring their electronic devices into the House gallery, according to a post in Roll Call. Photography and video won't be allowed, but if all goes well, electronic reporting will be permitted going forward.

In attendance at the address, Steve Jobs' widow Laurene Powell, looking lovely, as President Obama name-checked her late husband in discussing the economy, and how the U.S. needs to support the next of Jobs' ilk.

That said, Samsung just topped it's last set of Apple Fanboy-bashing commercials with this.

Now go crap up everyone's Facebook wall with a bunch of pictures themed on The True Meaning of Friendship.

 —  compiled by Helen A.S. Popkin, who invites you to join her on Twitter and/or FacebookAlso, Google+.