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Pre-caffeine tech: Netflix confusion, spy satellites revealed!

via BuzzFeed

Our pre-caffeine roundup is a collection of the hottest, strangest, and most amusing stories of the morning. Here's everything that you need to know before taking that first sip of coffee today: 

"I messed up. I owe everyone an explanation," blogs  the Netflix CEO, announcing that Netflix will now split DVD and streaming movie services, and changing the name of the DVD-by-mail service Qwikster ... which will no doubt confound everyone.

Also, some stoner dude already owns the Qwikster Twitter name.

In other perplexing news, Windows 8 is a two-faced OS. But will users appreciate Microsoft’s dual-pronged approach or just get confused?

Google Wallet may be launching soon -- it's already tormenting George Constanza in the '90s!  

Facebook seems to have partnered with every big music streaming service.

Meanwhile lost iPhones aren't Apple security's only headache  — secrecy is one of the $350B company's chief assets, and it's getting harder to ensure.

Speaking of spies, these declassified U.S. spy satellites reveal rare look at Cold War space program.

In other security news: Don't be a ScarJo! Here's how to stop pervs from stealing your naked pictures!

Video gamer solved in three weeks a molecular puzzle that stumped scientists for years — and that amazing accomplishment could point the way to crowdsourced cures for AIDS and other diseases.

In closing, Jon Stewart’s Michele Bachmann iimpression.

Helen A.S. Popkin goes blah blah blah about the Internet. Tell her to get a real job on Twitter and/or FacebookAlso, Google+.