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TRMS headline writing challenge: Infoxication, small business edition winners

Lemurs are gold. That's the take-away lesson from this latest installment of the TRMS Infoxication headline writing challenge. Not to in any way downgrade your uniformly excellent headlines about pirates and in-car coffee makers, but when the topic turned to lemurs? Magic Time.

As always, our humblest thanks for your collective toil and genius. Let's do this again soon!

(*Just to recap, Infoxication means transforming these three headlines into roaring, terror-filled Fox Nation type headlines.)

After the jump, the full list of winners.

World sea piracy falls in first 6 months of 2012:

  • Economy So Bad "There's Nothing Even Left to Steal," Claims Foreign Job Creator -- mpguy
  • Bush Anti-Pirate Policies Pay Off -- Herb Venton
  • Over-Regulation Cripples High Seas Entrepreneurs -- catterwall
  • Pirates to Obama: Where Are The Jobs? -- microgeek

Lemurs Are The World's Most Threatened Mammal, Study Says:

  • Lemurs Playing the Species Card -- Utah Saint
  • White House Mum on Lemur Self-Deportation -- Crystal Clear-3009304
  • Gay Lemurs Blamed for Population Decline -- Eese
  • Radical Environmentalists Blame 2nd Amendment for Decrease in Madagascar Rats -- Michaelanne Petrella
  • ‎Obama Refuses to Arm Freedom Loving Lemurs! -- Richard Schroeder
  • Obama Feasted on Lemurs as a Child, Now Species is Gone -- Jamie Equality McGonnigal
  • U.S. Companies' Overseas Investments Hampered by Extreme Obama Environmental Agenda; Gov. LePage: "Lemurs are the New Gestapo". -- Jammer71


Fiat says it will offer world's first in-car coffee maker
:

  • Romney Retroactively Invents First in-car Coffeemaker, Sells to Fiat -- Jamie Equality McGonnigal
  • Price of Coffee Jumps to $35,000 Per Cup After Auto Industry Bailout -- MariChristie
  • Obama's America: Colombian Drugs in Every Car -- Utah Saint

And finally...

  • Obama to Lemurs: Drop Dead! -- Lee J Rickard-2067820