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The Hit List: Teen Gets Into All 8 Ivy League Schools

Kwasi Enin poses with banners from the Ivy League colleges where he was accepted. William Floyd School District

1. Teen Gets Into All 8 Ivy League Schools

Harvard. Yale. Princeton. Most people would be happy just to get accepted by one of these Ivy League schools. 17-year-old Kwasi Enin isn’t most people. The overachieving teen from Shirley, N.Y., got into all eight Ivies. He’s a first-generation American, a musician, and an athlete who scored in the 99th percentile on his SATs. Yup, that’s right, at 17, he’s officially better at life than most of us.

2. What If They Don’t Find Anything?

As the days pass, pessimism is creeping in for those directing the search for MH370. After nearly 500 hours of combing through the latest search zone, no new clues have emerged, and if this trend continues, the search chief has warned that the intensity and resources they use will have to be re-evaluated. Already, the Australian Maritime Safety Authority has stopped reporting its latest findings and will only expand on their statements if something significant is found.

3. D.C. Pot Fine Now Less Than A Parking Ticket

In Washington, D.C., $25 will get you a pair of movie tickets or a nice tab during happy hour. It’s also the new fine for marijuana possession. The District of Columbia’s mayor signed a bill decriminalizing pot possession of up to an ounce. Prior to the new $25 penalty, the same offense carried a punishment of up to six months in jail and an $1,000 fine. Surprisingly, the ACLU reports D.C. has the highest rate of pot arrests in the U.S.

4. Colbert Fires Back Against ‘Dark Forces’ Behind #CancelColbert

Stephen Colbert returned to the airwaves on Monday with a rebuttal to the #CancelColbert trend that went viral last week. If you’re playing catch up, Comedy Central tweeted one of Colbert’s jokes out of context last week from the show’s Twitter handle @ColbertReport. It read: "I am willing to show #Asian community I care by introducing the Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever.” The target of Colbert’s satire was Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder’s new charity. “The interwebs tried to swallow me whole,” Colbert said last night, explaining that it wasn’t him but rather “the brain trust over at my network” who put out the tweet in question. Twitter co-founder Biz Stone appeared at the end of the program and helped the comedian shut down the show’s Twitter account, @ColbertReport. At the end of the segment, a triumphant Colbert proclaimed: “The power of Twitter, it has humbled Morsi, it brought down governments across the Middle East, but it did not get me.”

5. Mark Zuckerberg’s Base Salary Falls to $1

In 2013, Mark Zuckerberg’s salary was a dollar. Seriously. According to an SEC filing, Zuckerberg took a pay cut, going from a base salary of $503,205 to a single George Washington. The Facebook founder follows the lead of CEOs like Steve Jobs and Mayor Michael Bloomberg who famously once gave themselves the same salary. But don’t feel too bad. Zuckerberg is still worth $27 billion, which is $26,999,948,999 more than what the average American earns each year.

6. After 9 Years, ‘How I Met Your Mother’ Comes to a Controversial End

One of the most legen...wait for it...dary and longest-running shows on television ended last night, and fans had plenty to say. Conspiracy theories were validated, questions were answered and Barney set a new personal record -- but not all viewers were pleased with the final show. Did you happen to catch the finale? Visit our Facebook page and tell us what you thought about the gang’s last episode.