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Dennis Miller to Jay Leno: I'd have canceled the Republican convention

Dennis Miller
Dennis MillerNBC

The Republican National Convention may have been postponed Monday night because of bad weather, but that didn’t mean the airwaves were devoid of political debate.

Jay Leno’s first guest on "The Tonight Show" was longtime friend, fellow comedian, and prominent Republican Dennis Miller. You don’t book Miller on the show during election season to discuss his latest comedy routine, so it’s no surprise that the guest and the more liberal Leno got into an argument around the country’s future.

"I don’t dislike President Obama,” Miller said. “I just think it’s been an inept four years. I’m just calling as I see it. I know you like him. What am I missing?”

“I think he has compassion for regular people,” Leno said. He then referred to the Republican Party as having a “war on women” specifically noting the recent comments by Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin.

“I think Romney is a good guy and a decent man. I just think he had to go all the way right, and that’s going to hurt him,” Leno said.

“You don’t think (Obama) is all the way left?” Miller countered.

Obama’s not all bad

Those comments were bitter irony to those in the viewing audience who really are all “all the way left,” since prior to this Miller had expounded on some things he did like about the President that aren’t exactly part of the tree-hugger platform.

“He’s kept Gitmo open. He’s kept the Patriot Act. He’ll smoke a terrorist like that,” Miller said as he snapped his fingers.  “He killed that al-Awlaki guy, who was an American citizen -- they just blew his head off with a drone. Now we’re just killing citizens from space. I like that.”

Miller also departed from the Republican platform on gay marriage, saying that he loved love and didn’t care what the genders of those looking to join their lives together were. But as for other social issues, it’s safe to say that he thinks the current regime is too generous with their dollars.

“I want to help the helpless, but I don’t give a rat’s ass about the clueless any more,” he said. “If somebody doesn’t want to get it together and they want to get loaded all day, I’m sorry but I don’t have anything left in the tank.”

“It’s a matter of having compassion for that person who is down and out,” Leno said.

“I look at Romney and Ryan and think they are compassionate men. And I think at some point to never have any expectation over someone who is gaming it, I don’t think that is a compassionate gesture. I think that is a naïve one,” Miller said.

Not missing Tampa

Miller didn’t sound heartbroken that the convention was delayed, and said he had no need or desire to be there.

“I would have seized on this storm and canceled the convention,” Miller said. “I would have said, ‘Romney’s our guy. We’ll take the money we would have blown on the convention and put it towards the national deficit and pay it down a little.’”

But the convention might be more interesting if Miller had his way. Forget the traditional convention speeches and videos. Miller’s looking for something more like a pro wrestling skit to liven things up.

“I would have Christie put a move on Anne, and try to come onto her. And then I’d have Romney run out and wallop him ... put a Jackie Chan kick in and say ‘you lay off my old lady, punk!”

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