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'SNL' portrays Mueller unable to commit to collusion in 'Bachelor' break-up parody

"I don't think that I can give you everything that you want right now."

by Daniel Arkin /
Kate McKinnon, left, and Cecily Strong during the "Bachelor Finale Cold Open" on "Saturday Night Live" in Studio 8H on Saturday, March 10, 2018.Will Heath/NBC

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"Saturday Night Live" kicked off the show this weekend with a parody of "The Bachelor" starring special counsel Robert Mueller.

In the cold open, Mueller (Kate McKinnon) breaks some tough news to a disappointed contestant played by Cecily Strong, leading to an awkward exchange.

Strong's character, for the record, isn't looking for love. She's more interested in revelations that could potentially force President Donald Trump out of office — whether it’s evidence of collusion with Russia or his alleged affair with porn star Stormy Daniels.

"I've been struggling a little bit over the last few months just, trying to figure this whole thing out and, like, grasp everything. And the reality is that I don't — I don't think that I can give you everything that you want right now,” McKinnon’s Mueller tells Strong.

"So ... what, you don't have Trump on collusion?" Strong’s character asks.

"I'm just trying to be honest and tell you that I can't commit to collusion right now," McKinnon’s Mueller replies.

Strong's character is devastated ("I was ready, Bob. I was ready to do the damn thing!"), so McKinnon’s Mueller tries to lift her spirits: "If it makes you feel any better, the Kush is cooked," she said, referring to Trump's son-in-law and senior adviser Jared Kushner.

The sketch lampooned this week's season finale of ABC's "The Bachelor," in which Arie Luyendyk Jr. split up with his short-lived fiancée, Becca Kufrin.

This week's "SNL" was hosted by "This Is Us" star Sterling K. Brown, who also has a small role in the box-office smash "Black Panther."

"Most of you probably know me from 'This Is Us,' which is the saddest thing you can watch on TV other than the news," Brown said in his opening monologue.

"SNL" later skewered the hit primetime drama in a commercial for a fake series called "This Is U.S.," starring members of the Trump administration.

Brown appeared as housing secretary Ben Carson, along with Aidy Bryant as White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Pete Davidson as Kushner.

The musical guest was English singer-songwriter James Bay.

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