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'SNL' takes aim at Democratic presidential debate in New Hampshire

"Hey I have an idea for an app," says Larry David's Bernie Sanders. "It’s called no apps."
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"Saturday Night Live" took aim at the recent Democratic presidential debate in New Hampshire, describing the lineup of candidates as "future MSNBC contributors."

Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders, played by Larry David, has words of wisdom for the party, which relied on a malfunctioning phone app for results that still haven't been verified.

"Hey I have an idea for an app," David's Sanders says. "It’s called no apps. You show up to your polling place, take a number like you do at your butcher ... Give me a pound of whatever’s about to go bad."

Sen. Amy Klobuchar, of Minnesota, played by former "SNL" cast member Rachel Dratch, positioned the women in the field as the last sane Democrats vying for the White House.

Rachel Dratch portrays Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-MN., in the New Hampshire Democratic debate on "Saturday Night Live's" cold open on Feb. 8, 2020.
Rachel Dratch portrays Sen. Amy Klobuchar, D-MN., in the New Hampshire Democratic debate on "Saturday Night Live's" cold open on Feb. 8, 2020.NBC

"You’re looking at the other half of the New York Times endorsement," she says. "Elizabeth [Warren] is J-Lo and I'm Shakira."

"Why am I not doing better," she says later. "I’m the most reasonable person on stage."

Warren, of Massachusetts, played by Kate McKinnon, was on the same wavelength.

"They worry if I’m electable," she says. "I have a great solution for that: Elect me."

Sanders admits his supporters, sometimes called "Bernie bros," can be acerbic. But he does his best to connect.

"Hillary Clinton says nobody likes me," he says. "Then how come I’m the most popular guy on 4chan?

Satirical news segment "Weekend Update" examined Trump's victory lap following the U.S. Senate's vote Wednesday to acquit him of House impeachment charges.

The next morning, at the National Prayer Breakfast, Trump criticized Mormon Sen. Mitt Romney, who cited his religious conscience as he became the only Republican in the Senate to vote in favor of removing the president.

"I don't like people who use their faith as justification for doing what they know is wrong," Trump said Thursday.

"Weekend Update" co-host Colin Jost said such sentiment shouldn't go over well with the truly religious. "Even the leaders of the National Prayer Breakfast were like, Jesus Christ, dude," he said.

In a week when pundits debated bitterly about whether or not conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh deserved the Presidential Medal of Freedom he received from Trump on Tuesday, segment co-host Michael Che imagined him trading the keepsake "for a bottle of oxy."

"Say what you want about Rush Limbaugh," Che said, before going silent.

He also went after the president for firing Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman after the war veteran and Purple Heart recipient testified against Trump in the House impeachment inquiry.

"Trump has a Purple Heart," he said, "because his blood type is hamburger grease."

RuPaul of television's "RuPaul's Drag Race" made his hosting debut. Justin Bieber was the show's musical guest for a third time.