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On 'SNL' Trump orders no quid pro quo, only 'two large pies'

Gordon Sondland, played by Will Farrell, says, "Keep the quid pro quo on the low-low."
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"Saturday Night Live" saw the return of alumnus Will Ferrell as host and as U.S. Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland in an opening sketch imagining President Donald Trump's view of the impeachment hearings.

Trump, portrayed by Alec Baldwin, tells reporters he doesn't have time to speak about the testimony, including Sondland's claim that Trump was after a "quid pro quo" with Ukrainian leaders involving a possible investigation of political rival Joe Biden and his family.

"As you can see from this very loud running helicopter behind me," Trump says as Marine One whirls in the background, "I’m in a big big hurry right now so I really don’t have the time."

When reporters press him, Trump says he originally told Sondland he only wanted from Ukraine "two large pies, extra cheese. No quid pro quo, bro."

Kamala Harris (Maya Rudolph) goes for a viral moment in" Saturday Night Live's" parody of the fifth Democratic debate on November 23, 2019.
Kamala Harris (Maya Rudolph) goes for a viral moment in" Saturday Night Live's" parody of the fifth Democratic debate on November 23, 2019.NBC

Farrell appeared at Trump's side as Sondland and acted as though the two weren't that close. The real-life president claimed Wednesday, "I don't know him very well."

"It’s so great to finally meet you for the first time by the way," Sondland says. "Keep the quid pro quo on the low-low."

Saturday's pre-Thanksgiving show was packed with cameos. Fellow "SNL" veteran Tracy Morgan appeared on stage with Farrell during his monologue, and actor Ryan Reynolds sat in the audience and caused Farrell lose his focus.

A sketch on Wednesday's Democratic debate featured "SNL" alumnus Maya Rudolph returning to play Sen. Kamala Harris, comedian Larry David portraying Sen. Bernie Sanders, actor Woody Harrelson as former Vice President Biden, and former "SNL" cast member Fred Armisen as former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

"I’m just going to have fun and see if we can’t get some viral moments. Mama needs a gif," Rudolph says, pronouncing the file format with a soft "g."

Cast member Colin Jost as South Bend, Indiana, Mayor Pete Buttigieg, says the suit he's wearing is "from my first communion."

Sanders, noting his recent heart attack, says, "I was the first heart attack patient to show up to the emergency room on a city bus."

Biden acknowledges that his public speaking flubs sometimes make voters nervous.

"I’m always one second away from calling Cory Booker Barack," he says with a big grin.

Biden says not sure about endorsing marijuana legalization because he tried it once and it led him to a White Castle. "Next thing you know, Kumar and I are driving around," he says.

Tech billionaire Andrew Yang, played by Bowen Yang, announces that Tesla's recently unveiled Cybertruck will be his running mate.

Another sketch, this time with a Thanksgiving theme, featured Farrell as a Native American elder concerned about a pilgrim vying for the attention of his granddaughter.

"We need that wall," Farrell says. "We need to protect our borders."

Calling pilgrims "illegals," he says a lot of stuff has "gone missing" since they showed up on the continent.

"Buffalo, land," he says.

As the younger Native Americans discuss the questionable source of his information, the elder says, "The fox, he knows what's up."

News segment "Weekend Update" returned to Trump's impeachment, with co-host Colin Jost saying the hearings might have wrapped up, but "now the debate will shift to your house for Thanksgiving."

Reacting to news that Rep. Devin Nunes, a prominent Trump defender, might have traveled to Europe to help push an investigation into Biden and his son, Hunter Biden, Jost said, "So the guy who’s supposed to be investigating Trump helped him do the crime."

Jost urged Trump to follow through on his statement that he might testify in the impeachment inquiry. And he said he'd like to see Trump's personal attorney, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, do the same.

"Can you imagine if both Trump and Giuliani testified on live TV?" he said. "The ratings would be insane. It would be like the Super Bowl, but with worse brain damage."

King Princess made her musical debut on "Saturday Night Live."

CORRECTION (Nov. 24, 2019, 10:05 a.m. ET): An earlier version of this article misstated the title of Gordon Sondland, as played by Will Ferrell on "Saturday Night Live." He is the U.S. ambassador to the European Union, not the acting U.S. ambassador to the Ukraine.