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Nine Laugh Lines from Obama's White House Correspondents' Speech

The president launched some biting zingers at his foes' expense at Washington's big media dinner.
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President Barack Obama got big laughs -- and launched some biting zingers at his foes' expense -- at the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday night. He took shots at major media outlets, Sen. Rand Paul, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, and congressional leaders.

Image: President Obama attends White House Correspondent's Association Dinner - Washington
President Barack Obama speaks at the annual White House Correspondent's Association Gala in Washington, DC, on May 3, 2014.Olivier Douliery / Pool via EPA

Here are nine of the biggest laugh lines from the night:

9. "Yes, I am happy to be here, even though I am a little jet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to get CNN coverage these days! I think they are still searching for their table."

8. "I admit it, last year was rough. Sheesh. At one point things got so bad, the 47 percent called Mitt Romney to apologize."

7. "Washington seems more dysfunctional than ever. Gridlock has gotten so bad in this town, we have to wonder: 'What did we do to piss off Chris Christie so bad?'"

6. "Michelle and I watched this, we cannot believe what these [Olympic snowboarders] do. Death-defying feats! I haven't seen somebody pull a 180 that fast since Rand Paul disinvited that Nevada rancher from this dinner."

5. "While you guys focus on the horserace, I'm going to do what I do. I'm going to be focused on everyday Americans. Just yesterday I read a heartbreaking letter...a Virginia man who's been stuck in the same part-time job for years, no respect from his boss, no chance to get ahead. I really wish Eric Cantor would stop writing me."

4. "Folks are saying, with my sagging poll numbers, my fellow Democrats don't really want me campaigning with them. And I don't think that's true, although I did notice the other day that Sasha needed a speaker at career day and she invited Bill Clinton."

3. "Just last month, a wonderful story - an American won the Boston Marathon for the first time in 30 years -- which was inspiring and only fair since a Kenyan has been president for the last six."

2. "These days, the House Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me -- which means orange really is the new black."

1. "Let's face it, FOX, you will miss me when I'm gone. It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya."

The president's remarks were preceded by a cameo-rich video featuring a leather-jacket-clad Joe Biden taking fictional 'Veep' Julia Louis-Dreyfus for a spin in his yellow Corvette. In the skit, the pair snuck ice cream at the White House (later getting busted by the first lady), wrote fictional headlines about Biden's "200% approval rating" and scored matching "45" tattoos.

Comedian Joel McHale, the star of NBC's Community, headlined the event after the president's speech.