Do not trust anything you see on the Internet today.
That is pretty good advice anytime of the year. But on April Fools’ Day, the Internet transforms into one giant episode of “Punk’d,” with each tech company trying to outdo the other with absurd projects.
Is it hilarious? Tiresome? Mind-numbing and predictable? You be the judge.
Michael Dorn, a.k.a. “Worf,” Endorses Klingon Rosetta Stone
We have all been there. You’re on a date, sipping some blood wine and admiring the decorative bat'leth hanging on your potential mate’s wall, when you realize you don’t speak a word of Klingon. Consider one of your many, many problems solved.
A Hot New Netflix Original
The newest Netflix Original is “Sizzling Bacon,” where a piece of fatty pork gives a slightly less hammy performance than Kevin Spacey in “House of Cards.”
The Internet of Wings
Samsung’s Fli-Fy aims to harness the power of pigeons, giving people the ability to … wait for it … tweet from wherever they are. (Yes, we know pigeons coo. Just play along).
Tweet in 3-D
Speaking of tweeting, HootSuite just announced integration with Oculus Rift, the virtual reality headset from Oculus VR, which was recently purchased by Facebook for $2 billion. It's funny until it actually happens.
Auto Awesome Photobombs with David Hasselhoff
You already bring David Hasselhoff with you everywhere in your heart. Why not add him to your Google Plus photos?
Get a Ride With shuberX
Toms Shoes teams up with Uber to provide transportation via a man with a cardboard box. No word on whether shuberX will charge eight times as much during heavy pedestrian traffic.
Gotta Prank ‘Em All!
Google is looking to fill a new position: Pokemon Master. The job application consists of searching through Google Maps and clicking on Pokemon icons. The prize is having the saddest LinkedIn profile of all time.
Once you add Pokemon Master to your résumé on LinkedIn, don't forget to do some networking.
Clothes Make the Man ... Literally
Congratulations! You now have powerful cat friends. They might be taken more seriously, however, if they were dressed like humans. Don't worry, Betabrand and Cheezburger say that they can make that happen.
Tumblr Classes Things Up With "Pro" Version
Your reward for sitting through an amusing parody of self-serious tech ads? A little top hat that falls gently on your user icon.
No longer will you burn valuable calories clicking and scrolling through Reddit, thanks to Headdit. Twitter basically made the same joke with the Twitter Helmet. We are simply shaking our heads in disappointment.