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Pre-caffeine: Faster Facebook, Google games!

BuzzFeed via afterelton.com
Yo! AaronBuzzFeed via afterelton.com

Our pre-caffeine roundup is a collection of the hottest, strangest, and most amusing stories of the morning. Here's everything that you need to know before taking that first sip of coffee. 

The Facebook for iOS just got updated, and odds are that you'll be quite happy with it. While things barely look different, everything is faster.

And yet, Android's Facebook app is so crummy, Mark Zuckerberg makes Facebook employees use it.

Everybody says Apple is introducing the next iPhone on Sept. 12 -- now there's yammering about how the mini iPad won't be introduced until October. 

Meanwhile, Microsoft rolled out its first new logo in 25 years. 

Don't know if you heard, but there's a hurricane headed toward Florida -- and Google is ready to help.

Google also wants to know if you're "feeling playful."

Amazon is holding a press event on Sept. 6, in Santa Monica, Calif., and that probably means exactly what you think it means: That a new Kindle — or two, or three — is on the way.

Barely half of Americans can stream Netflix. Here's why.

Have you heard about the hot new trend in online dating? You actually meet people in the real world! Crazy, right? 

Speaking of online dating, OKCupid wants you to either stop using an ad-blocker, or give it $5. 

In closing, Aaron Paul is your favorite actor on television. Here's why. 

Compiled by Helen A.S. Popkin, who invites you to join her on Twitter and/or Facebook. Also, Google+.