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Pre-caffeine tech: iSteve, parental texts

Our pre-caffeine roundup is a collection of the hottest, strangest, and most amusing stories of the morning.

All good things must come in threes. That's the only reasoning I've got to justify the fact that Funny or Die — a website focused on comedy shorts — is making a full-length comic biopic about Steve Jobs, dubbed "iSteve."

Meanwhile, if the iPhone's virtual assistant Siri ever gets a face, "she" may look the British actress Zoe Lister, who loaned her mug, voice and facial expressions to researchers developing a virtual talking head that can express a wide range of human emotions.

Oh, and watch out, Apple! Samsung's been planning a smart watch "for so long."

Reddit's first TV show on YouTube is reportedly awesome.

The U.S. Department of Justice's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms has issued a license to a group that wants to manufacture a 3-D printed gun.

And cops want U.S. law to require logs of your text messages ... it all comes down today!

Turns out, some people do hate Amazon, says Wired.

Google Maps now allows you to explore Everest, Kilimanjaro and other great mountains.

In closing: 24 Texts You Don't Want To Get From Your Parents.

Compiled by Helen A.S. Popkin, who invites you to join her on Twitter and/or Facebook.