As we come out of our social distancing cocoons, looking to resume activities and relationships that have been put on hold for over a year, we may be entering a time of surging social activity that could reshape the bonds that connect us — for better or worse.
Individuality is nurtured by the pursuit of a variety of nonoverlapping relationships, which allows people freedom to develop and express their identities.
To protect ourselves during the pandemic, we had to draw back our social lives into bubbles and pods, with fewer “bridges” to the larger world that Covid-19 could travel across. While this was effective for stopping the virus from flowing through our social connections, it also stopped the flow of many good things.
Some see an upside in the winnowing of our social networks, defined as the array of relationships and connections that surround us, from the most important people in our lives to mild acquaintances. They recommend we make these changes permanent, focusing on our strongest relationships and letting the weaker ones fade.
This advice is understandable for those who felt overcommitted before the pandemic or relieved of social burdens during it. But following this advice too stringently could entail serious negative consequences, not just for the individuals who do so but for their communities and society at large.
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Having a personal network that is expansive, with connections reaching into many different parts of one’s community and beyond, is associated with being happier and healthier and attaining a higher socioeconomic status. Some of this is because successful and happy people find it easier to meet new people, so their successes expand their social networks. But social networks have their own impact, a return on the investment of connecting to others.
Useful information and opportunities flow through networks of acquaintanceships. Many people find out about job opportunities from people they don’t know very well, which tend to lead to better jobs than formal employment searches. These weak connections are often sources of important aid, such as help with mundane tasks, information about access to services and resources and knowledgeable advice.
Knowing a broad scope of people also increases the kinds of culture and knowledge you’re exposed to, making you a more well-rounded and capable person, and in turn expands the diversity of your social range since a key path for meeting new people is through existing connections.
Just as having expansive connections can be advantageous, not having them can be a problem. Too little connectedness can lead to social isolation, which has serious negative consequences for both mental and physical health and shortens people’s lives.
There are benefits, of course, to the small pods many people formed during the pandemic. In particular, these highly cohesive groups can be terrific sources of social support. But they can also have the drawbacks of all tight-knit communities: a lack of privacy and a tendency towards conformity. Individuality is nurtured by the pursuit of a variety of nonoverlapping relationships, which allows people freedom to develop and express their identities and gives them more control over what about themselves they share with others.
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An expansive personal network is also good for society. Trust in other people is related to how interconnected people are, which in turn affects the strength of the social fabric. Places where people feel that others are generally trustworthy tend to experience less violence, higher rates of volunteering and stronger economies. A well-connected community makes it easier to solve social problems, as people are more likely to cooperate with each other and to behave more generously when they know people in common.
It can be especially good for communities to build bridges between socially distant groups. Generalized trust is higher in communities where social groups are more connected and lower when there are large gulfs between them. Groups with few connections between them can also exacerbate inequalities, as social segregation isolates people from the resources and influence that flow through social networks, further disadvantaging the already disadvantaged: Americans who live in high-poverty neighborhoods tend to have less expansive networks and fewer advantageous connections.
More bridges between social groups also mean fewer “choke points,” places where the flow of information and help can be blocked by a broken connection. Just as with traffic, when networks rely heavily on a small number of bridges to keep society flowing, they are more likely to fail. Limiting our social time to those closest to us removes or weakens many of these bridges, which will likely further fragment and segregate our communities, lowering social trust and cooperation.
Making your personal network more expansive isn’t about committing to time-intensive relationships, however; it’s about nurturing the weaker ones, the low-commitment and low-intensity friendly acquaintanceships. These are the most likely to bridge your personal network to distant ones and involve only a little work to make and maintain.
While you may not have a bird’s-eye view of your network to pinpoint exactly where such opportunities lie, you can probably do a good job of guessing. First look for the people you could easily get better acquainted with through a modicum of effort. (While connecting with complete strangers can be rewarding, it can also be difficult, and is less likely to lead to ongoing friendships.) Of these, look for the ones that feel more distant from your life: people in a different occupation or community; people with whom you share few connections in common and are involved in organizations that you don’t belong to.
When you do reach out, it's better to meet up in person (safely, of course). Adding someone as a “friend” or “following” them on a social networking platform is probably not enough to generate such tangible benefits. Offline interactions are more likely to create lasting connections that involve consequential flows of help and information and lead to invitations to events and introductions to other people.
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Also, consider the acquaintances that you’ve let become dormant — people who you know but haven’t communicated with for a long time. This erosion is more likely to have happened with people who are social bridges because they tend to share fewer settings and friends with you that keep the relationship going. Rekindling these acquaintanceships can be especially easy and rewarding.
Lastly, consider joining (or starting) a new group that attracts a diverse range of people. Groups based around hobbies, activities and charities can be very effective sources of new ties because they offer a setting and structure that reinforces relationships that might not take hold otherwise.
Coming out of the pandemic, we could easily confine ourselves to our reduced networks. But with a little conscious effort, we could instead build back better social networks than we had before: more connected and more equitable.