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Pre-caffeine tech: Speedy CES, science jokes! 

velica.deviantart.com via BuzzFeed
velica.deviantart.com via BuzzFeed

Here's everything that you need to know before taking that first sip of coffee today:

velica.deviantart.com via BuzzFeed
velica.deviantart.com via BuzzFeed

CES is packed with the newest gadgets, devices and apps. NBCNews.com's Wilson Rothman runs through Las Vegas looking for the best.

And yes, even a reporter in 4-inch heels can ride this electric skateboard.

Meanwhile, a fake Twitter campaign encourages teen girls to "Cutforbieber'

But here's  a teen who uses tweets to compliment his classmates!

Check it out! The many emotions for which English has no words! 

Remember all that fuss about Instatram losing users? Facebook fixed that alleged issue by removing user counts! 

Moms sure did a lot of mobile shopping last year! 

Here's what the quadcopter was thinking when they used it to buzz a moose (a found fiction in a Boing Boing comment thread).

Good news everybody! Cloud-based voice recognition could make oral commands actually useful.

And LinkedIn has 200 million members from over 200 countries.

In closing, 20 spectacularly nerdy science jokes!

Compiled by Helen A.S. Popkin. Tell her to get a real job on Twitter and/or Facebook. Also, Google+.