It sounds like some perverse form of multitasking: sex while sleeping.
That’s right. Some people can — and do — have sex without ever waking up, according to a study published in the journal Sleep. Sexual behaviors that occur during sleep range from simple moaning to fondling to outright intercourse, scientists say.
Apparently there isn’t much you can’t do while sleeping. Sex while sleeping — labeled as sexsomnia or sleepsex — is just the latest to be added to a list of nighttime habits that includes sleep driving, sleep cooking and sleep eating.
All these behaviors are related, experts say. They’re officially known as parasomnias.
“People can do some fairly complicated things while still asleep,” says Dr. Charles Cantor, medical director of the Penn Sleep Center at the University of Pennsylvania. “They can leave the house, get in the car and drive. They can go to the kitchen and cook and eat. Sometimes it’s not very rational. For example, what they cook may be inedible.”
As for the skills of these unconscious lovers, scientist can't say for sure.
Experts don’t completely understand why some people experience parasomnias, though they do know that the tendency to do things while sleeping runs in families.
What’s clear is that, in certain people, something goes wrong during delta, or slow-wave sleep, explains the study’s lead author, Dr. Carlos H. Schenck, an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Minnesota and a senior staff psychiatrist at the Minnesota Regional Sleep Disorders Center in Minneapolis. It’s generally thought that little dreaming goes on during slow- wave sleep, Schenck adds.
Sexsomniacs are “like a hibernating bear waking up. They’re confused and can be aggressive. They’re in a twilight state, partially awake and partially asleep. They’re disinhibited. They generally have no memory of what happens,” Schenck says
About 7 percent to 11 percent of Americans experience some sort of parasomnia, says Schenck, author of the book “Sleep: The Mysteries, the Problems, and the Solutions.”
The reason most of us haven’t heard about sexsomnia is that it’s rarely reported, he says. These types of patients "generally don’t come in to a sleep center. A lot of them are still hiding in the closet,” Schenck says.
Also, since the sexsomniac generally has no recollection of what happened during the night, it’s the person on the receiving end of the attention who must bring the matter up: first with the partner and then with a physician.
Some spouses aren't complaining
And, apparently, the experience isn’t always a negative one.
Schenck notes that one woman said that her boyfriend while asleep was “more amorous and a gentle lover” who was “more oriented in sexually satisfying her.”
Another woman said she “found some aspects of sleepsex pleasurable ... and a little kinky,” Schenck notes. In fact, the woman liked the sleepsex so much, he adds, that “she requested that the patient incorporate some of the nighttime sexual practices ... into their conscious lovemaking.”
It’s not always rosy. Some women have complained about spouses who are more aggressive. One described a night when her husband grabbed her around the neck. The researchers noted: “She slapped him hard, which awakened him, and he immediately let go.”
Cantor has seen cases where sexsomnia has created friction in a relationship.
“Partners I’ve spoken to are really unhappy about it,” he says. “They don’t want to be approached when they’re not actively participating. And they don’t want to be awakened in the middle of the night.”
How can partners be sure that their unconscious Cupid is actually sleeping? Well, some of them do the deed while snoring. Others have been described as being “far away,” “glassy-eyed” or “unresponsive.”
Dark side of sexsomnia
Sexsomnia can have an even darker side. Because people aren’t aware of what they’re doing while sleeping, they can end up performing inappropriate, even illegal, sexual acts.
Schenck’s article, for example, lists several cases in which minors have been groped and molested by sleeping adults.
In fact, sexsomnia has been used as a legal defense in some assault cases, Schenck says.
Schenck hopes that media attention will make people more comfortable about opening up and talking to their doctors about sexsomnia if it’s having a negative impact on their relationships.
On the other hand, he notes, in cases where couples have no issue with the behavior, and in fact find it exciting or amorous, sleepsex wouldn’t be considered a “problem.”
Reuters contributed to this report.