Video: Kin of mom who drove into river speak out

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    >> learning more this morning about the mother who drove her family minivan into the hudson river killing herself and three of her children. the woman's family spoke exclusively to nbc news. we have the latest. maria, good morning to you.

    >> reporter: good morning, meredith. we now know that the 10-year-old boy was not let out as preefrsly thought. he escaped. they say they never imagined she would do the unthinkable. after losing so much, the family of lashanda armstrong is trying to make sense of the senseless and figure out why the 25-year-old mother would kill herself and three of her young children.

    >> and i'm like, mom, what happened, calm down, calm down. and she -- that's when she told me, she said she drove the van into the water, they're gone, they're gone.

    >> reporter: though armstrong , a student and working single mother of four, was overwhelmed at times, they say she was generally happy and cheerful. but in the last few weeks she seemed clearly upset about something, even afraid.

    >> she was talking to me about how she felt like somebody was watching her. she felt like there was pages of her diary missing, the lights in her house were flickering on and off.

    >> reporter: most disturbing of all, armstrong began repeatedly apologizing to her friends and family, which they now see as a cry for help.

    >> i apologize if i've ever done anything to you or hurt you. i said, lashandra, why ro youare you apologizing.

    >> she was calling family saying i'm sorry. nobody knew why.

    >> reporter: on tuesday she loaded all four children into her minivan before driving down a boat ramp and into the hudson river . their bodies discovered in the van under eight feet of water. but the oldest child, 10-year-old lashaun armstrong survived, climbing out of a window, swimming to shore in 40 degree water and flagging down motorist meave ryan.

    >> he was frantically waving his hands, face full of fear. he was saying please help me, please help me, please help me. his frozen face of fear on his face, i'll never forget it for the rest of my life.

    >> reporter: he recounted the chilling story of what she had done.

    >> she went to the back seat, held them all together and said if i'm going to die, i'm going to take you all with me.

    >> i'm so proud of my nephew lag shaun to have the strength and the courage to get out.

    >> reporter: officials say the murder/suicide may have happened after a domestic dispute . earlier that evening police got a call from armstrong 's family concerned that she was, quote, us theling with the father of her three youngest kids. they say the couple has a history of domestic problems but when officers arrived, no one was home. they still can't make sense of what made this young mother snap.

    >> something got under her and clicked her where she felt that there was nothing left. that 10-year-old boy is now staying with relatives. he reportedly told officials that his mother changed her mind as the van was sinking saying, quote, i made a mistake, a last-minute change of heart that came too late. meredith?

    >> reporter: so sad. thank you very much.

    >> staff and news service reports
updated 4/14/2011 5:40:39 PM ET 2011-04-14T21:40:39

The awful truth of Lashaun Armstrong's story took only moments to sink in: The 10-year-old's mother had just driven a minivan carrying him and his three siblings into the Hudson River.

"I got out of the car and went halfway in the water to see if I could see their car," Meave Ryan, 31, told The New York Times. Ryan checked for the submerged minivan and then drove the boy to the fire department, she told the newspaper.

The fire department in Newburgh, N.Y., was practically empty and all the trucks out on call, Ryan said.  "We knocked on the dispatcher's door," she told The New York Times.

Lashaun stood shivering and soaking wet in the firehouse, struggling to get the words out: His mother, 25-year-old LaShanda Armstrong, had driven their minivan off a boat ramp and into the river, taking Landon Pierre, 5, Lance Pierre, 2, and 11-month-old Laianna Pierre with her.

Story: Mom drives van into river, killing self and 3 kids

All of them died.  Only Lashaun survived, managing to open the driver's window and escape the van just before it slipped beneath the surface.

Image: Memorials placed near the boat ramp where Lashanda Armstrong drove into the Hudson River
Christopher Capozziello  /  Getty Images
People left tributes at the spot where Lashanda Armstrong drover her four children off a boat ramp and into the freezing Hudson River.

'Screaming for help'
Ryan said that when she first saw the boy, he was waving his arms at a string of passing cars.

"He was screaming for help," she told the newspaper. "He said, 'My mommy just drove the car in the water.'"

Other cars drove by the boy standing on the side of the road, Ryan told the Times.

Lashaun told her what had upset his mother so much: "There was an argument about cheating, that his stepfather was cheating on his mother," she recalled.

Video: Kin of mom who drove into river speak out (on this page)

Lashaun said the boy's mother had called a family member, saying: "I'm sorry, I'm going to do something crazy, you have to forgive me," according to the newspaper.

The newspaper quoted Ryan as saying that Lashaun's mother held her children as the minivan slipped into the river, saying: "If I’m going to die, you're going to die with me."

Image: Angela Gilliam, aunt of Lashandra Armstrong
Mike Segar  /  Reuters
Angela Gilliam, aunt of LAShanda Armstrong, is comforted by a relative near a boat launch at the Hudson River, where Armstrong and three of her children drowned, in Newburgh, N.Y., when she drove her van into the river on Wednesday.

On the same evening, LaShanda's aunt, Angela Gilliam, had called the police, according to The Associated Press.  Gilliam was worried about her niece's well-being and said there was a domestic tussle going on at the younger woman's apartment in this hardscrabble city on New York's Hudson River.

Police headed to the apartment but by the time they got there, it was empty.

'She was so alone'
Earlier Tuesday, Armstrong appeared stressed when she picked up children at the Young and Unique Christian Development Child Care, said Shaniesha Strange, supervisor in the infant room.

"The only thing she'd say was that she was so alone," Strange said Wednesday. "She's a single parent. She takes great care of her kids, goes to school and works. She really needed a helping hand."

Meanwhile, the woman's sister and brother appeared on the TODAY show Thursday morning and told NBC News that she had become withdrawn in the past few weeks, but that they never thought she would take such drastic action.

"Something got under her and clipped her where she felt that there was nothing left," said Lenny Armstrong.

Her sister, Darice, said she was "just really proud of my nephew that he had the strength and courage to get out."

Earlier, police questioned the man they identified as the father of the three dead children, Jean Pierre, but did not give details. He apparently didn't live with the mother and children and could not immediately be located for comment.

Hetty Minatee, another teacher at the day care center, said Armstrong had enrolled the four children there in September. At first Jean Pierre would come in with Armstrong and sometimes would pick up the kids.

"A couple weeks ago, she came in a little upset," Minatee said. "She said, 'Miss Minatee, I don't want the father to pick the kids up or have any contact with them.' She said she was trying to get a court order so he could never see the kids again."

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From Armstrong's apartment, she would have taken a right turn onto Washington Street, site of George Washington's headquarters during the American Revolution, and driven straight toward the river, downhill all the way. She'd be familiar with the boat launch, neighbors said. She watched fireworks over the river from the corner near her house. A half-mile drive would have gotten her there. A hard left then a quick right turn would take the van into the water.

Fire Chief Michael Vatter said the vehicle went under in the 45-degree water within two minutes.

Divers searched for about an hour before finding the minivan submerged in 10 feet of water about 25 yards from the shore. They used a tow truck to pull it up the ramp.

Police said there was no history of domestic violence at the address.

Lashaun is staying with Gilliam and "doing fine," she said.

'Very good mom'
"She was a good mother. She was going through some stuff," Gilliam said of her niece. "Nobody knows what my niece went through." She would not elaborate.

Neighbors in the city of about 30,000 said the children seemed energetic and happy and would play on the block and ride bikes.

"She was a very good mom," said Tina Claybourne. "She took care of her kids. She always was with her kids."

Another neighbor, Sharon Ramirez, told The New York Times that while the relationship with the father of the three youngest children "looked perfect," there were tensions under the surface.

"They had a rocky relationship," she told the paper, adding that she herself had carried on a three-month relationship with Pierre while Armstrong was pregnant with the youngest child.

Armstrong's landlord told the newspaper that she had asked him twice to change the locks to keep Pierre out.

"She said she doesn't want him here," the landlord John Boubaris told the newspaper, adding, "He was here all the time."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Map: Mom drives into river, killing self and 3 kids