Every night at 8 p.m. on MSNBC, Keith Olbermann awards his daily pick for "Worst Person in the World." Some contenders are lucky — or unlucky —enough to be nominated more than once.
Good news out of Wal-Mart. The newest sales numbers from their list of political and social sciences books: “Worst Person in the World” is at number 2 and that other thing Bill O'Reilly wears as a windbreaker is at number 3.
The Bronze: Bill-O has slammed the Cleveland “Claim Dealer” for publishing a negative review of his novel. I actually wore a windbreaker to my book cover photo shoot because the reviewer works for a progressive media watchdog. But Commander Porthole could not identify one thing factually incorrect about that review.
Bill, your book sucks. Some people are going to buy it anyway. Shut up and take the check and then send Andrea Mackris her 30 percent of whatever it is.
Our runner up: an unnamed newlywed— the groom, who unwittingly triggered a biochemical weapons scare in Halle in Germany. Police cordoned off a large area and examined, for two hours, a small supply of gelatinous goo left by the side of a road. It was J-E-L-L-O, Jello, leftover from dinner. The groom evidently didn’t like it, he threw it out the car window on the way to the honeymoon suite.
But tonight’s winners: FOX News again on the “Beltway Boys” program, they again misidentified a politician just like when they identified Mark Foley as a Democrat on O’Reilly’s show.
This time it was in a poll, showing Democrat Sheldon Whitehouse beating the shine-ola out of Republican Lincoln Chafee in the Senate race in Rhode Island. FOX identified the leader Whitehouse as a Republican and Chaffee as the Democrat. Erroneous! Erroneous!
All right FOX News, it’s time to fess up, you guys have developed a case of Democrat envy. Obviously at the moment that’s perfectly understandable. Put some Visine in your third eye and you’ll be fine.
In the interim, FOX News Channel is Monday's “Worst Persons in the World.”