On one side of his notebook, a British man convicted of murdering his wife and baby professed love for his "Orange Rose" and "my Lilly." On the other side, he drafted letters to editors, looking to sell the story of their deaths to the highest bidder.
Neil Entwistle, 29, was sentenced Thursday to two life sentences without the chance for parole and ordered by the judge never to profit from the story.
The jurors who a day earlier convicted Entwistle of shooting to death his wife, Rachel, 27, and 9-month-old daughter, Lillian Rose, in 2006 had access to the notebook, but it was made public for the first time Thursday after his sentencing.
Entwistle had the notebook with him when he was arrested in London three weeks after the slayings. In it, he calls his wife his "soulmate" and "very best friend."
"As a husband, I could never dream for more," he wrote.
He writes of the pain of losing his wife and daughter in what sounds like a suicide note.
"I miss my wife and daughter so much it feels like I am completely empty inside," he wrote.
"The void grows larger each day and I fear a lifetime of this can only bring more pain. I need to be with them again, my Orange Rose and my Lilly."
Story for sale?
But in another section, he drafted two letters to editors.
In one, he describes himself as a "close friend and confidante" of Entwistle, who he says wants to "tell his side of the story."
"What's of interest to us is what price you would be willing to pay for exclusive rights to the full story," he wrote.
Entwistle stared impassively in court Thursday as he was sentenced. Under Massachusetts law, the only sentence for first-degree murder is life without parole.
He fled to his native England soon after killing his wife and daughter in their rented home in Hopkinton.
He claims his wife killed the baby and then committed suicide. Prosecutors said he was despondent over mounting debt and dissatisfied over his sex life.
During the brief sentencing hearing, Rachel's mother, Priscilla Matterazzo, called Entwistle's theory of a murder-suicide "low and despicable."
"Suffering does not begin to describe what we have been enduring without our beloved Rachel and Lillian," said Matterazzo, who wore a pink rose on her lapel in memory of her granddaughter. "I have lost two generations of my family."
No chance for release
Matterazzo asked that the life sentences be consecutive, to represent the two generations. But Middlesex District Court Judge Diane Kottmeyer said that would be only symbolic, since there is no chance he'll be released, and imposed two concurrent life sentences.
Entwistle's family continued to support him.
"There is no way our innocent son Neil is guilty," his father, Clifford Entwistle, said before the sentencing. He declined to comment afterward.
Entwistle also was given 10 years' probation on two weapons convictions, with the condition that he not profit in any way from the sale of his story, either through a book or to a media outlet.
He will serve his sentence at a maximum-security prison in Walpole. First-degree murder charges carry an automatic appeal.
His lawyer, Elliot Weinstein, said he believes Entwistle will eventually win a new trial.
"We've encouraged him to be optimistic about the result of appeal," he said.
The judge gave Entwistle the chance to speak, but he did not.