In the past, the word “sassy” has been used as a dig toward expressive men online — but one TikTok creator is turning the descriptor into a badge of honor.
Prayag Mishra, 25, has charmed TikTok users with his expressive mannerisms, quippy attitude and playful dancing over the past three weeks. In that time, he has grown his following from 29,000 to 2.5 million “pookie bears” — the pet name for his fans. As his star continues to rise, he has become the face of “sassy men” on the app.
“Sassy men” have been a divisive topic on social media over the past year. First coined on X in 2022, according to online meme database Know Your Meme, the “sassy man apocalypse” has been used to describe the prominence of expressive men with bigger attitudes, which some have deemed “feminine.” Initially, “sassy” was typically used in a derogatory or homophobic manner. Viewers would call male TikTok creators “sassy” if they seemed too effeminate.
But when “sassy man apocalypse” TikToks — or videos of girlfriends showing their boyfriends’ mannerisms — started to trend over the summer, the online sentiment shifted. While some videos under the trend were critical of sassy men, others portrayed sassiness as endearing and the opposite of toxic masculinity.
“All the perfect ingredients of the sassy man apocalypse had been brought together," Mishra, who has been making content for two years, said in an interview. "I’m just here to push it even further. I’m on the front lines of the sassy man apocalypse."
Last month, Mishra said he decided to be "radically authentic" in his online presence. The creator, based in Toronto, Canada, posts many of his videos from his car. His authenticity has paid off — Mishra has become a meme with his snappy one-liners, and is considered a heartthrob to his predominantly female fanbase.
At first, Mishra didn’t know what to make of viewers calling him “sassy.” But he has since embraced the descriptor. He said he was raised by strong women, which shaped his humor and personality.
“This is who I am," Mishra said. "This is the way that I express myself. I wasn’t expecting unanimous love. I wasn’t expecting support from people. I was expecting, you know, people to roast me and make fun of me."
TikTok creator Ferlynn Petit-Bell, 23, has been critical of videos that shame men for expressing their feelings.
“If you’re trying to be a feminist and you’re trying to combat toxic masculinity, that’s not going to happen if you’re shaming men for having anything else besides stoicism or nonchalant attitudes towards different situations,” said Petit-Bell, who said it’s it has been exhausting to see the rise of divisive influencers like Andrew Tate in the past few years.
But she’s been encouraged by creators like Mishra — of whom she’s a fan — who appear sensitive and expressive.
“It’s very refreshing to see men who are not so obsessed with appearing hypermasculine or hyperstoic,” she said.
Others seem to agree: Her Sept. 27 video sharing her love for sassy men received over 500,000 views.
Can a 'minor sassy movement' really combat toxic masculinity?
Before Mishra dominated TikTok feeds, Iyosias Wondwossen, 24, was described as one of the “OG sassy men” by some. Known for his attitude and sense of humor, he said his followers have been calling him “sassy” for almost a year.
Wondwossen takes the descriptor as a positive thing, although he said that it’s been used as an insult toward him in the past.
Over the past month, Wondwossen said it's been interesting to see the shift in attitudes toward sassy men, particularly as Mishra has grown in popularity.
“I’ve seen people just complain in general about sassy men and the sassy man apocalypse in this era that we’re in and how we need to get back to manly men and stuff … this moment that he's [Mishra] created is really cool to see,” Wondwossen said.
The fact that men have built a world where we have to be super masculine isn’t really going to change all too much just because of this minor sassy movement.
-Iyosias Wondwossen, described as one of the internet's 'og sassy men'
While Wondwossen said TikTok is making the concept of leaning in to your sassiness as a man more acceptable, he said that it isn’t necessarily a reflection of real social change.
“The fact that men have built a world where we have to be super masculine isn’t really going to change all too much just because of this minor sassy movement,” he said.
Brandon Harris, an assistant professor of communication at University of Houston-Clear Lake who has studied toxic masculinity among online creators, agreed with this sentiment.
While sassy men can open a dialogue into broader conversations about toxic masculinity, he said people shouldn’t expect Mishra or any single creator to be the solution to this issue.
Mishra is "branding himself as someone who is challenging masculinity. So great, we need people who are going to do that," Harris said. "But that is a big ask. And that is going to ultimately require some significant actions that are going to require more than, you know, a TikTok video from your vehicle."
Ultimately, Harris cautioned against putting anyone on a pedestal without them having put in actual work of dismantling patriarchal norms.
“If you actually want to redefine the boundaries of masculinity in a healthy way, you’re gonna have to talk about it," he said. "So these negotiations need to happen. But we can’t lose sight of the fact that this can very easily be turned into a tool to maintain the status quo."
Still, Mishra said he hopes to build a community based on positivity. A self-described romantic, Mishra said he’s “married” to his pookie bears. He loves that his audience speaks a “language of love” with him and each other.
“As a man, we’ve just seen a lot of, like, not the best role models on the internet,” Mishra said. “And we need a man that’s more loving, that’s more positive, that’s more caring. I just think that everything happened at the right time, at the right place, for the right people to perceive it.”
