Our pre-caffeine roundup is a collection of the hottest, strangest, and most amusing stories of the morning. Here's everything that you need to know before taking that first sip of coffee today:
Everyone's freaking out on account of Silicon Valley legend Steve Jobs, who has been on medical leave for an undisclosed condition since Jan. 17, resigned as chief executive of Apple Wednesday, saying he could "no longer meet" the duties and expectations of the job.
Jobs has been deemed arrogant, exacting, exasperating, brilliant — and a bunch of other things.
Apple's future success or failure depends on the strength of the new leadership, not to mention the greater forces of the universe, but it's clear it will face challenges ... like these.
Though if you're going to read ONE story about Steve Jobs, this is it.
Also, Apple's new CEO Tim Cook is now the most powerful gay man in American. So that's pretty cool.
Meanwhile, Hurricane Irene, which could become a Category 4 storm. With that in mind, Facebook, American Red Cross, National Weather Service and Department of Health and Human Services emphasize the importance of social media during an emergency.
D.C. zoo animals knew about the Earthquake before Twitter and Brooklyn hipsters!
Oh, and Facebook is looking to kill Instagram, it seems.
China accidentally revealed its cyberattacks on the United States.
Congress may not have that much of a problem with location tracking, even if this judge finds it downright Orwellian.
A fake HP giveaway site "rickrolled" nearly 1,000 visitors.
Jim Carrey seriously needs to step away from the Internet.
In closing: Steve Jobs, fashion icon.
Helen A.S. Popkin goes blah blah blah about the Internet. Tell her to get a real job on Twitter and/or Facebook. Also, Google+.