Never mind that her ex-husband is one of the most closely watched death row inmates in the country.
To this day, Mildred Muhammad never leaves home without the restraining order that bars sniper John Allen Muhammad from getting close to her and their three children.
"The only thing I know is he was coming to kill me," Mildred Muhammad said in an interview last weekend. "If he were to escape, I have that to show to say that he's not supposed to be near me."
Mildred Muhammad, 46, said she decided to speak publicly about her ex-husband because she feels prosecutors who have tried him in Virginia and Maryland have not thoroughly addressed what she believes his motive in the October 2002 shootings was: to kill her so he could recover his children.
Muhammad said in his opening statements in his current Montgomery County trial that he and Malvo roamed the Washington area — during the terrifying three-week period when 10 people were slain and three injured — looking for his three children, who were taken from him after he kidnapped them for 18 months.
"What would that mean technically?" his ex-wife asked rhetorically. "I would have to be removed."
Writing a memoir
Mildred Muhammad, who is now working at a family crisis center, is writing a memoir titled "Without a Beating Heart: Running from the DC Sniper — My Ex-Husband."
Her publisher, Lloyd J. Jassin, requested that the interview be only 20 minutes and asked Mildred Muhammad to limit her disclosing of information about the memoir.
The book will underscore that thousands of women in abusive relationships have limited tools to protect themselves and fight back, Mildred Muhammad said.
"As we sit here, someone has called 911 for help," she said over coffee at Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe & Grill near Dupont Circle. "How many of those calls have come and gone unheard?"
She declined to say whether she still lives in the Washington area and would not answer questions about her children, who are now 16, 14 and 13.
Mildred Muhammad worked on a different book project last year and intended to go on a book tour this month to coincide with her husband's Montgomery trial. She backed out of that deal, according to Penny C. Sansevieri, chief executive of Author Marketing Experts Inc., which was promoting the book.
A news release issued when that book was in the works promised to reveal that Muhammad had threatened to kill his ex-wife and to "bring a city to its knees with terrorism." Mildred Muhammad declined this week to say what information would be in her new book.
Accomplice Malvo seen as 'victim'
She said that she doesn't hold Muhammad's accomplice, Lee Boyd Malvo, responsible for the shootings. Both men have been convicted in Virginia, and Malvo plans to plead guilty in Maryland.
"Lee is a victim of domestic abuse," she said.
Malvo, 21, said this week on the witness stand during Muhammad's trial that he had been "indoctrinated" by the older sniper.
Mildred and John Muhammad were married for 12 years. They separated in 2000. In an application for a restraining order filed in Tacoma, Wash., Mildred wrote: "I am afraid of John. He was a demolition expert in the military. He is behaving very, very irrational. Whenever he does talk with me he always says that he's going to destroy my life."
In an earlier application for a restraining order, she wrote that Muhammad had forced his way into their home to see their son, John Jr., who had been sick. The next day, Mildred Muhammad wrote, "John came over to inform me that he will not let me raise our children. His demeanor is such that it's a threat to me.''
Plan to terrorize Washington
After their marriage fell apart, Muhammad took the children to Antigua, where he met Malvo, a rudderless teenager who had been abandoned by his parents. Muhammad returned to the United States later with Malvo and his children. Muhammad moved to Washington state, where he lost custody of his children.
Shortly afterward, Muhammad told Malvo's mother — who was then working illegally in Fort Myers, Fla. — that Malvo would be better off with him because he could adopt him and legalize the teenager's immigration status, Malvo testified. Malvo's mother rejected the offer, but Malvo ran away to join Muhammad.
In the summer of 2002, Muhammad told Malvo that he intended to terrorize the Washington area — where Mildred and the children were living — by shooting dozens of people and later bombing school buses, schools and children's hospitals, according to Malvo's testimony.
Muhammad's ultimate plan was to take back his children and move to Canada to form a training compound for young homeless men who would expand his mission to several cities in the United States, Malvo said.
Mildred Muhammad said she has followed her ex-husband's trial closely.
"I think he's being arrogant," she said, of his decision to conduct his own defense. She said he likely chose to do so "to show how smart he is. Smart is as smart does."
Staff researcher Bobbye Pratt contributed to this report.